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(CRSD) Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy Artists Thoughts Chronic Pain Lupus Self Portrait The People Behind My Eyes

Therapy Review : Acceptance. Art Flame

Content : Brief suicide check in. Explaining myself, memories. Acceptance. Pain. So I walked into the building and my pain level rose to a nine out of ten. From the knee down on both sides it hurt like all get out. I told Dr D that I worry I eventually won’t be able to walk […]

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(CRSD) Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy Chronic Pain The People Behind My Eyes

Relaxing With Joey

This boy has been snuggly all day. I just love it, but he’s got to get off my chest soon because he weighs 11 pounds and feels quite heavy on my chest. It’s great when he’s on my legs though. That’s helpful, so is oxygen, which I’m fighting for right now. Lol One of the […]

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(CRSD) Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy Chronic Pain Lupus The People Behind My Eyes

All Flare ups End

I have to remember that all flare ups end. It feels like they won’t but it will. It takes time I feel like I don’t have to give. The pain is intense. If I put pressure on the foot it starts to burn like I dipped it in fire, but it stops burning within minutes. […]

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(CRSD) Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy Anxiety Lupus PTSD The People Behind My Eyes Therapy Review

Therapy Review : Suicide Disease. Hope Art.

Content – Talk of suicidal feelings surrounding Chronic Relex Sympathetic Dystrophy (CRSD), some hopelessness, hope art and talk of anniversary dates. We talked about how hopeless it feels to walk into the ER believing it’s a source of relief only to be told that there’s a crisis out there that has nothing to do with […]

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(CRSD) Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy Chronic Pain Lupus The People Behind My Eyes

The Pointless ER Visit

Well then, I guess even the ER is refusing real pain therapies to people with documented Lupus and Chronic Regional Sympathetic Dystrophy (CRSD). I showed up at a sustained level 9 pain with my foot and leg messed up only to be given a line of crap and some Tylenol. Uh huh, Tylenol! I cried. […]

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(CRSD) Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy The People Behind My Eyes

Positive Doctors

My Oncologist /Hematologist is such a positive doctor. Today he again told me I’m a walking miracle and that I should not worry about the future. He said to keep taking the medications, keep my appointments and move forward. He said if it happens again we’ll deal with it. He explained what the doctors would […]

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(CRSD) Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy Abstract Art Lupus Originals Paintings Paper PTSD Sketchbook diary The People Behind My Eyes

What if?

All “what if” roads lead to nowhere.  I decided to draw a little line drawing with my funky triple lead colored pencils to depict all those “what if” roads I’ve been going down. It’s not a great photo but the idea is there. It’s a drawing of roads going everywhere, fast. What if I die […]

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(CRSD) Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy Chronic Pain Lupus PTSD The People Behind My Eyes

Where?

Where are my coping skills? Where is my ability to handle my health issues? I wish I could say I am emotionally better than the last time I was in the hospital but I’m not. I’m just as shocked and stunned asking, is this really my life? Seriously, they were going to take the rest […]

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(CRSD) Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy Chronic Pain Lupus The People Behind My Eyes

No Osteomyelitis. Chronic illness is expensive.

I was tested twice more and the final answer is no. I don’t have a bone infection. No Osteomyelitis. The infection from the ulcer reached deep, but the bone wasn’t infected at all. I’m in the clear on that one. Also, after 2 months and much fuss, the ulcer is nearly gone. I’m not even […]

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(CRSD) Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy Chronic Pain I'm only human Lupus PTSD The People Behind My Eyes

The Smile

I smiled every time the doctor or nurse walked in the room. I smiled at the Radiologist, Podiatrist, Hematologist, Wound Team and the vampire, blood sucking Phlebotomist. I’m not an easy stick and hate getting my blood drawn, thus the name calling. Anyway, I smiled at them all, genuinely, because I was greatful for good […]