Monday was one of the hardest days I’ve had in a while. It started off with nightmares that stayed with me for much of the day. I tried to go back to bed to start over but had yet another nightmare. Then as planned, I got myself together, got on my horse (wheelchair) and left […]
Tag: My Face My Art
It hasn’t even been a year since I was diagnosed with CRSD. This isn’t normal sweating. It’s not a hotflash, it’s a 10 min or so flush of water in excess of what the body needs to cool itself. This episode lasted long enough that I decided to photograph it. Noteworthy is that I’m standing […]
The problem I have with the old GP is that he never saw me. He walked in the room and typed on the computer. He didn’t look at me. He asked a few questions, typed some more, wrote on paper, handed it to me and left me sitting in the room alone wondering what on […]
As I finished an image for My Face My Art a cruel voice in my head reminded me that I’m worthless. My gut felt heavy. I wanted to curl in the fetal position and face the wall with my back to everything; anything that might be damaged by my existence. If this feeling could be weighed, […]
The video is a quickly thrown together sound bite with several art pieces that fit the topic. Death of my brother as well as sexual abuse, suicidal ideation and self harm (cutting) are discussed along side art stills. Close to the end of the video one photo of a box of crayons is seen for several seconds, […]
i feel so broken, exhausted, shredded. i need a mental vacation, somewhere out of my body and its inferno. that thought plagues me, i have to escape this. they say when a person says they want to commit suicide that it’s a cry for help, that they don’t really want to die. that’s true. i […]
*** Disclaimer below . 7×10 art journal. Escape my skin, oil stick and ink I often feel defeated. I run from head, I run from my skin, always in fight or flight. Dove – pencil on paper, sketch 7×10 I will smile. I may crack a joke but behind these eyes is a woman who is […]
A short hospital stay was needed. I’m home recovering but I’m not to go anywhere. I was grateful that 3 from my care team responded after hours, including over the week end. They got me all squared away …. not to mention super drugged. I said I wouldn’t take narcotics unless its absolutely necessary. Well, it […]
I went to the doc today. The new diagnosis means I’m listened to, strange feeling. I’m going to say the same thing I’ve been saying and I mean it just s much as the first time I said it. I hurt. From head to toe, I hurt. I do not want to roll over and […]
Masked, vulnerability, strength, endurance, determination, ambiguity, helpless, small, insignificant, rock hard, aggressive, assertive, grief, please see me, invisible, property, youth, old soul, wise soul, lava of the mind, focus. Faith