You know what? I did better with boundaries and setting limits than I first remembered. I originally looked back at the year with the old CNA and saw how many times I drew the line.

The first thing was how she would shoo me away with the back of her hand. She’d say, “Go! ” and begin to shoo me out of the kitchen area or restroom area, wherever I was. It felt horrible. I asked her to stop but she told me I couldn’t tell her what to do with her hands. I said, when it makes me feel “that way” I absolutely can. I ended up needing to call the supervisor about it.

She began saying very racist things about two different races. It was crazy. I said, how soon you forget the very words used against you. “They’re taking over.” “They’re taking our jobs.” “They’re dirty.” How soon you forget!!

She talked about how she doesn’t eat food from certain people because she feels blacks cleaner than their race. I get tired of that mess!!

It’s insane to inflict on others what we have to endure. When I talked to the supervisor about racial slurs she was mad. Shouldn’t have kept saying it. Hatred has no place in my home! I won’t stand for it.

She told me I can’t tell her what she can say. My answer surprised her. I said. I absolutely can. I can. I did. If vitriol comes out of your mouth you will hear about it. You say horrible things sometimes!

So, thinking back, I didn’t let her run all over me. I tried very hard to keep boundaries with someone who became uninterested in civility.

While there were really good times we had many difficulties, mainly with her mouth. You know what though? It was the mouth of one CNA. I only had one person’s behavior to deal with. I didn’t have CNAs cycling in and out which made the situation manageable, for awhile.

Let me address her walking out on me. That hurt. It also hurt to find out she actually put in a 2 weeks notice and that would have been her last day anyway. She put in a 2 week notice (unknown to me) because I had to report her language. I kept asking her to stop dropping the F-bomb. Why do I need to keep asking? Why are you using that word at work, especially that much? She actually quit bc she didn’t appreciate being asked not to use that word between the hours of 10-3, three days a week.

I guess she couldn’t bring herself to be respectful to others or to love herself enough to not say hateful, racist things about others.

Early on she used to tell me she was going to leave and not come back. I asked her to stop. I don’t think it’s funny. She kept saying it so I told the supervisor. So now she’s gone. I’ve got mixed feelings.

I honestly liked her in the beginning. I still have empathy and sympathy, now with anger.

Faith

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