I’ve not shown off my Philodendron Hope plant in awhile. It’s growing out of two Betta tanks. I’m going to clip it back soon and allow certain leaves to mature. It’ll look nicer cut back. I have hope. There’s no doubt about the hope I have, but the path to…
The Other Side of Sanity. Covid.
I’ve written several paragraphs only to erase them. I’m emotional and all over the place only to come to rest on afraid. I’m afraid. The way through will be long and arduous. I don’t feel so good. The man and his company who called me pious and lion like has…
Pushing over the edge. Next step.
It’s a difficult time right now. Stress is high enough that my body is killing me. Stress is high enough that I’ve trusted too much due to mental exhaustion. I went running from the building bc I thought it was going to blow up. I thought God sent me a…
Epiphany: A Future that is Mine
CONTENT – Child Abuse. Strong emotion. Therapy Review. The art work is not finished but will eventually be in my Etsy shop. If I believe I have a real future and a real hope, why do I keep wanting to go back and fix things? Why do I still feel…
Out with the Hospital, in with the Clinic
I made all my appointments at the hospital every six months since 2018 but it was time for a change. I’m seeing the same doctor just at a clinic associated with the hospital. I’m happy I made the change. People spoke to each other in the clinic and it wasn’t…
Brief Medical Hospital Stay
I’m home from a brief medical hospital stay but in the entry I’ve lead with emotional issues. I have to admit I am emotionally excitable and I cry at the drop of a hat. Today I cried my eyes out concerning the CNA who left. I was crying because I…
Teeth. Punishment. OCD.
I don’t deserve pretty dentures after the way I treated my natural teeth, that’s the way I thought anyway. So when it came time to choose the color of my dentures I didn’t want to choose a pretty white. I was going to choose a coffee drinker white, or a…
Better Boundaries This Time Around
You know what? I did better with boundaries and setting limits than I first remembered. I originally looked back at the year with the old CNA and saw how many times I drew the line. The first thing was how she would shoo me away with the back of her…
A Gentle Youngen. Updated.
My new CNA is a gentle youngen with a strained home life. I like her. She likes my cat despite being black lol. Joe screamed at her the whole day though, trying to get her attention. He really wants her attention. I had to threaten him with the spray bottle…
Eating Disorder Clinic. Outpatient Care Only.
Today I started care at the eating disorder clinic for abstinence and binge eating. I didn’t feel judged at all. I didn’t feel like my size disgusted them. I know not eating for 3 days is a problem but I didn’t realize it would be something to try to make…