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Anxiety I'm only human The People Behind My Eyes

Patience

Today I met the new CNA. She was here about 30 minutes for a meet and greet. We talked and giggled and went over the things I need from her. I asked something about a positive that she brings to the job and she said patience. I’m going to call her Hoah on the blog. […]

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I'm only human Lupus The People Behind My Eyes

CNA Chronicles: A New Company

Today a new company came out and interviewed me for long term, in home care. I was encouraged that she showed up despite the pandemic. Most people want to interview over the phone but I wanted her to see the place and have an idea of what her company is getting into. Her company hires older […]

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Abuse Anxiety Multiple Personality Disorder PTSD Siblings abused The People Behind My Eyes

Abandonment Trigger Reality. Resolution. Goals.

Yesterday when the CNA got nasty and then walked out of the house it struck me so deeply. I couldn’t help but cry and say enough! Forget letting them come back for three more days. I fired them right then and there. The young lady said that most blacks are ignorant and poor. My objection didn’t […]

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Abuse I'm only human PTSD The People Behind My Eyes

CNA Chronicles : When Caregivers Abuse

After 2 years of abuses, I fired my CNA company today which is a few days earlier than planned. It’s been a long rough road with them and I ended that abusive relationship today. I don’t have another company to replace them yet but Jehovah’s Witnesses are going to care for me until I get […]

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Abuse Anxiety I'm only human PTSD The People Behind My Eyes

CNA Chronicles : Breaking Point

I got into an argument with the director of the nurse’s aide company because of the lack of care. There are too many days when I either don’t have care or I get a half day of care. I’m not going to go into the whole thing but I decided to pull the plug earlier […]

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Abuse Art Art therapy Artists Thoughts Black Children Lupus Multiple Personality Disorder Originals Paper PTSD Self Portrait Sketchbook diary Sunflowers Surreal The People Behind My Eyes

Half a Century More

I started this little painting back in October of last year but I just now finished it. It looks so much better in person than the terrible photograph. This 7×10 watercolor piece has a lot of numbers on it. The numbers are ages that were very significant to me with age 47 being the last […]

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Anxiety Art Art therapy Black Children Mixed Media Paper Self Portrait Sketchbook diary Sunflowers The People Behind My Eyes

Paranoia Art

When I was young my mother used to tell me quite often that a person was trying to punish her for a perceived slight. She constantly accused my sister and myself of stealing money from her purse even though neither of us had done so. I didn’t realize then it was paranoia but now I […]

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(CRSD) Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy Chronic Pain Lupus The People Behind My Eyes

Rain Showers. Pain Showers. High Anxiety.

Wow. It’s been raining all day. I mean raining like we’re going to need to gather 2 of each animal and hop in a boat. Of course my body is not pleased with the rain, but I have my handy heating pad that is 17×33 inches. I so love this thing. It’s better for me […]

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Multiple Personality Disorder PTSD The People Behind My Eyes Therapy Review

The African Elephant

I look just like her. I laugh like her and I hear her voice when I speak. Wow. I swore I’d never be anything like her, but here I am nearly 50 years old and I’m physically a miniature version of my mother. I’m ok with it because not everything about this woman I called […]

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I'm only human The People Behind My Eyes

More On Getting the COVID-19 Vaccine

I’m concerned because there’s a reaction to the vaccine that scares me, thrombocytopenia. This concerns me because I’ve had it and nearly didn’t make it. My platelets dropped from 250 thousand to 16 thousand. The Hematologist said it was a total nightmare for him but that my bone marrow was working 3x its normal rate […]