The Young One (my CNA) showed up looking lost. She put her head on the table and looked at her phone a bit. I didn’t know what to say. The thing is, she’s here to assist me, not the other way around. But my heart goes out to her. We didn’t talk much. We don’t […]
CONTENT – Talk of assault. No details I didn’t sleep well last night. I woke nearly every 2 hours. The stress from my CNA’s personal issues kept me awake. Yesterday morning my regular CNA, the one I call Youngen, didn’t come to work. No call to her supervisor was made so we assumed she wasn’t […]
Uterine Ablation Surgery I dropped a few tears because being wheeled back reminded me very much of going through the tough thrombectomy in 2018. The doctor asked why I was crying. He then said, you have PTSD from what you went through, don’t you? I shook my head yes. I’m a very hard stick and […]
The doctors are on the same page now. I’m to stop the blood thinner Fondaparinux on Thursday. I’ll have the procedure Friday and take the medication again Saturday morning. That’ll be the longest I’ve been off the blood thinner in 2 years. It’s kind of scary not take it. Hopefully I will have a CNA […]
Categories
When Doctors Fight
The surgeon wants to do the ablation without stopping the blood thinner Arixtra aka Fondaparinux. My Hematologist laughed out loud and said, “No!” This is a rather strong blood thinner and the possibility of bleeding is way too high. My Hematologist says I should not ever have surgery without it going through his office first […]
I spent a good long time at the hospital getting test after test. They checked my heart to see if its strong enough for surgery. In 2018 my heart could only pump down to my legs but not back up. It’s doing so much better and I’m safe for Friday’s procedure. They did heart test […]
Stress and anxiety have taken over the last two weeks. I stopped eating and took in fewer fluids than normal. I was exhausted. I could hardly breathe but my oxygen levels were very good so that made no sense. My chest was tight. I was faint, weak and had low blood pressure. They thought I […]
Categories
Negative
My coronavirus test came back negative. I’m relieved. I’ll have to take a second one just for the upcoming surgery but that is routine only.
I’ll be getting tested for the first time ever tomorrow. I’m nervous but I’m also very, very exhausted. I can’t breathe very well. My lungs are burning. I can’t wheel myself about. My words have been slurred. I’m hungry but I’m too dag on tired to eat. My blood pressure has been so low that it’s […]
Categories
Guilt. Shame. Fear.
Content: A very emotional writing. Trauma, current as well as PTSD. Today during my therapy session Dr. D and I discussed something traumatic that took place August 6th of this year. We’ve talked about it a lot and have processed how I feel as well as how others inside feel. However, this conversation took place […]