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I'm only human Lupus

Results. Enough. I’ll keep going.

The results showed a 2x2x2 tumor in my uterus (about the size of a lime). They want to see about non-surgical treatments but if the Oncologist / Hematologist says I can’t take it because of my blood disorder then I have to have it surgically removed. The estimated time for healing I was given was […]

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Anxiety I'm only human The People Behind My Eyes

Tests

The tests went well today. My CNA was with me in the morning then she left so friends could take me for imaging. It went well. They were very understanding. Because she got everything she needed with the pelvic ultrasound, she did not have to do the transvaginal ultrasound. I was quite relieved! I came […]

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Lupus The People Behind My Eyes

Therapy Review : Health Review

I’m a little angry. My hands are tied with therapy. I’m not going to go in the wheelchair then leave it outside while I go up the stairs and in the door. Transportation to his office could smooth out if I used indygo or the CICOA rides, but the problem remains – I can’t get […]

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Anxiety I'm only human Lupus PTSD The People Behind My Eyes

Pelvic Ultrasound. Therapy and Accessibility.

I’m going to have a transvaginal ultrasound Wednesday the 8th at 1:10pm. One of my best friends is taking me. She and her husband took me to the doctor yesterday. When I came out and it was over, I was emotionally spent. I cried and cried. Right now I feel like crap. I want to […]

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Lupus PTSD The People Behind My Eyes

On seeing the doctor. Blood disorder issues.

Content: Passing more golf ball sized blood clots. Oncologist and Gynecologist appointments coming up. I went to the doctor but they were unable to examine me for various reasons. They wanted to start me on a medication that I can’t take because of the blood clots history. I called my Oncologist / Hematologist to verify […]

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Anxiety I'm only human Lupus PTSD The People Behind My Eyes

Perimenopause and clotting. Blood thinner realities.

Content: Very personal entry. Perhaps not for the squeamish. Talk of blood and blood clots as well as being on a blood thinner during the cycle. I’m struggling physically. I thought I was going to the hospital last night. I didn’t go because I thought to myself, I just can’t do the battery of tests […]

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Art Art therapy Artists Thoughts Black Children Children Mixed Media Multiple Personality Disorder Originals Paintings PTSD Sunflowers

Tiny Art. Safe Art.

Sometimes I paint on a tiny little canvas because it feels less overwhelming and very doable. Larger canvas is hard to manage so I don’t mess with that at all but even at times an 8 x 10 piece of paper is daunting, so I pull out a small little canvas and let my mind […]

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Abuse Anxiety PTSD The People Behind My Eyes Therapy Review

Therapy Review: Fix What I Didn’t Break

My heart is heavy. I talked to Dr. D about the nurses aides not showing up again. They weren’t here last Monday when I talked to him and they aren’t here today and more than likely won’t be here tomorrow. Four or five people have told me that I’m not the problem with why people […]

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Life is like a box of The People Behind My Eyes

Gratitude: They Reached Out

I couldn’t sleep last night and was on my phone playing a game for the millionth time when I got a curious email. I investigated and was left with mounting questions. What is this? Who is this, and what does all this mean? I quickly used the email address to inquire. I mean to tell […]

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Anxiety I'm only human Lupus The People Behind My Eyes

CNA Chronicles: Moving Forward

I stayed with this company for a year and a half but I should have left about 4 to 6 months ago. I really had no intention of leaving until I got a call about their inability to staff me and other clients on a regular basis. It appears there’s a lot going on, much […]