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Chronic Pain I'm only human Lupus PTSD The People Behind My Eyes

Two Years On

May 7th will be two years with the amputation. Funny, my therapist still can’t say that word. He just says, ‘the operation.’ I think the only thing that really makes me sad is not yet being able to wear shoes. I thought I could but not yet. I purchased a pair I thought I could […]

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Abuse Anxiety I'm only human PTSD The People Behind My Eyes

CNA Says I Have Spirits

My CNA and I had a serious disagreement where I became very angry. She told me I have spirits and crazy crap like that. I reported her to her supervisor bc it’s not the first time she’s done it, saying she has a “deliverance ministry” and can heal me of my spirits! She is to […]

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Anxiety I'm only human Lupus Self Portrait The People Behind My Eyes

Me and Face Masks

Me smiling. I laugh more than I smile. Recently I’ve had more to smile about. I feel as if I’ve gotten my second wind. I’ve got a lot more confidence concerning the world situation and feel safe and okay at home. The world is still big but doesn’t feel so big I can’t manage stress. […]

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Anxiety I'm only human The People Behind My Eyes

Thoughts and Worries List

The virus has sealed my CNA staying. She thought about switching jobs and getting out of the field but unemployment rates skyrocketed which has definitely changed her plans. I’m not upset about this. I want her to stay as long as possible. For Kingdom Hall Services we are using the Zoom program to meet together […]

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Anxiety I'm only human Lupus PTSD The People Behind My Eyes

Panic Mode

I go from sleepless nights to straight fatigue with an undercurrent of panic and impatience. I’ve vomited and stressed myself right into an outbreak all over my chest. I can’t get Benadryl until April 1st. Man. I’ve got a doctor’s appointment the 30th of this month. I wish I could cancel. I’ve got to calm […]

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I'm only human Lupus The People Behind My Eyes

A box full of life

I know I’ll have to fight these people again but for now I’ve got a month’s worth of shots in my hands. What a relief! Five days waiting for these felt like forever. Thank you to everyone who called, text, emailed and left comments and likes of support. It’s much appreciated. ❤️ Faith

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I'm only human Lupus The People Behind My Eyes

Shots Update

I’m approved until December of this year then the fight is on again. However, they did approve it so I’ll have shots tomorrow. I only had one shot left, one! Wow what a relief! A huge, huge relief! I was so nervous. You can bet I’ll order 2 days early then put those shots back […]

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Anxiety I'm only human The People Behind My Eyes

Clearing My Head

It’s 9:25pm on Saturday. I’ve got to get up to go to services tomorrow, however, my brain has kicked on with the aide gone and the lights out. It seems I’ve got a little more to worry about. I thought I had 10 shots put back but I’ve only got four. Right now I’m doing […]

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Artists Thoughts Chronic Pain I'm only human Lupus PTSD The People Behind My Eyes Therapy Review

Halfway Normal

I never know when I’m going to feel well enough to get out of bed. Three days in and I wondered if there would be a fourth, but today I feel halfway normal. Usually I don’t know if I’m going to be able to stand being alive because the pain is so bad, but then […]

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I'm only human Life is like a box of The People Behind My Eyes

My Funeral: One Last Cup

How do you want your funeral? That’s the question we’ve been discussing. I swear I don’t have morbid friends or plans to exit, but we have talked about these things especially since we’ve lost good friends recently. I found the perfect urn for myself. Anyone who knows me knows this is in fact the urn […]