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The People Behind My Eyes Therapy Review

Therapy Review : Baby Brother

Content: Suicide discussion. Grief I don’t know how to write this entry. I’ve been trying since yesterday to contain myself enough to take notes from therapy concerning all the suicide triggers of late. Perhaps first I should say I understand the desire to die and I understand what pushes a person to try because I’ve […]

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Anxiety I'm only human PTSD The People Behind My Eyes

Coping Safely. Lavender Weaponry.

As one can imagine, last night was rather rough. I believe I came to a pass where I refused to accept anymore stress that eats me up and spits me out. Depression flattens me on my back, anger makes me get up and move. Last night I got up and moved. I moved past the […]

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Acrylic on Paper Art ART GALLERY Faces Mixed Media Multiple Personality Disorder Originals Paper PTSD Sketchbook diary Surreal The People Behind My Eyes

Girl Inside

Art by: Faith Magdalene Austin Art Title: Girl Inside Media: Watercolor and Acrylic on 98 lb paper Style: Raw, African Americana, Folk Art, Black Art Finish: Sealed, signed, Here’s a close up look at this very emotional piece of a girl with someone else inside. SUNDRIP – Art for Life www.sundrip.etsy.com

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Anxiety PTSD The People Behind My Eyes

Therapy Review: Ugly. Self Harm. Weight

I felt ugly talking to Dr. D today. We talked about binge eating and how my diet isn’t the best. I have a terrible sweet tooth but I also eat to sooth myself. I hope it counts for something that I didn’t binge the other day. I’m not a fat slob failure but I certainly […]

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Anxiety The People Behind My Eyes

Surgeon. CNA. Spoiled Me.

(sigh) I saw The Surgeon for the last time yesterday afternoon. I didn’t expect him to hug me but I’m glad he did. I gave him his painting and as expected, I cried at the end. As a matter of fact I got in the car, went to the store, purchased 4 pints of ice […]

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Anxiety ART GALLERY Digital Art Lupus Major Depression PTSD Self Portrait Sketchbook diary The People Behind My Eyes

Don’t Forget Me

My physical wounds have healed faster than emotional wounds. There’s a real fear that time will pass, I’ll ‘look better’, and people will forget that on the inside I’m still struggling. When all this first happened and for the entire 5 months, friends leaped to my assistance. I had more visitors than I knew what […]

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Dreams PTSD Siblings abused

Dreams: Burying Fantasies

Content: Aunt tried to kill herself. Brief discussion of cocaine. Death. The gist is that my aunt refused to call me by my name, called me everything else. I refused to answer. Then she called me a ‘bitch’ so I gave her a full account of how much I hate her. I reminded her that […]

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Anxiety Art Artists Thoughts PTSD The People Behind My Eyes

I’m Not Crazy Yet

It’s been one of those days where all I’ve done is sleep and paint. I got in a good meal, sat down at the table with candle light and everything, yet my heart is desperate and forlorn. I want to cut. I wont but the desire is there to shred my arms up. When I […]

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Lupus PTSD The People Behind My Eyes

The Move

Saturday at 2pm I’ll move to the new place. I’m excited but I won’t have the internet for a few days. In the few days off line I hope to set up my art table and supplies. I need to see my belongings again. It’ll mean a lot to see my stuff. It’s hard to […]

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Art Chronic Pain Digital Art Expressionsim I'm only human PTSD Surreal The People Behind My Eyes

Not Cut and Dry

I asked you to do the surgery. You said you could or a colleague but I trusted my life in your hands. It felt like there was so much at stake, more to lose than body parts. I can’t explain how afraid I was that I’d throw a blood clot or bleed to death. I […]