Wow! Anxiety has been high for over a week. It peaked today. I had to really concentrate on my breathing and slow it down. I’ve got a new diffuser because after 2 years, my Young Living diffuser went caput. The new one is also white and purple. Therapy was full of anxiety but not because […]
Author: Faith
SUNDRIP – Art for Life is a site that expresses in every media possible an intimate look into the life of a person living with major trauma. The issues addressed in art and writing include Dissociative Identity Disorder, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Lupus and CRSD. Despite these issues, I intend to move forward, through and out with honor, grace and creativity.
I was talking to Dr. D and realized something significant. I expect a lot from myself and when I don’t reach my own expectations, I get really down on myself. This is a simply realization but one that needed to be made. Today I realized that I’m doing enough creating to keep myself going. No, […]
CONTENT: Race relations in my home with CNAs and country wide. Inequality for black and white-low income people. I’m so mad I can’t see straight. It’s just been pathetic. I’m mad for myself, for you and for future generations. I’m mad. If I am not as politically correct in my wording then please forgive me […]
For several nights in a row I’ve had a dream about getting hugs from some beautiful black man. I know, right! The thing is, since I haven’t had a real hug since March the dream hugs have been nice and healing. In one dream he hugged me and held on. It was great and so […]
I told Dr D that I struggle to keep from resenting people who won’t keep good COVID-19 practices. I’ve been isolating for so long that it’s starting to wear on me. Seeing people go without a mask and go about like nothing is wrong, make it harder on the rest of us who are trying […]
I talked to my Hematologist about getting the vaccine. He thinks it’s a good idea. Of course I won’t get it in the first round but I want to be in line for it. There are a lot of people concerned about its safety. I’m one of them. Here’s what I’m thinking – the vaccine […]
I can’t seem to kick the idea that I am somehow dirty inside and out. I know why. I recall the names I was called so viciously. I just hate that even now, at 49, I want to protect people from my unclean feelings. I have a sweet little CNA that shows up daily. She’ll […]
We talked about my mother’s narcissistic traits such as the need to appear perfect and her inability to accept criticism of any kind. We talked about her viciousness and sadistic nature but not too much detail. Most of the time I talked and tried to keep from having to address the visualization technique for compartmentalization. […]
I can’t stand it. I don’t even know why I’m writing it. I guess because it helps just to say or scream that it hurts. I think when I hurt this way it starts to make my heart sad. I feel it emotionally, too. I’m not sure why. The physical pain makes me hurt inside […]
I hated to do it but I had to fire my 19 year old CNA for habitual failure to wear her mask and wash her hands. I talked to Dr D before I fired her and explained that I was worried I’d not get care for days on end if I fired her but I’ve […]