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Abuse Anxiety PTSD The People Behind My Eyes

Guilt. Shame. Fear.

Content: A very emotional writing. Trauma, current as well as PTSD. Today during my therapy session Dr. D and I discussed something traumatic that took place August 6th of this year. We’ve talked about it a lot and have processed how I feel as well as how others inside feel. However, this conversation took place […]

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Anxiety The People Behind My Eyes

The Pandemic is Changing Me

The pandemic has changed me. The long isolation time has made me clingy and more emotionally dependent on my caregivers. Today I wasn’t going to have a caregiver but my CNA came anyway, despite having a tooth pulled. I couldn’t believe she came. She said she wanted to make sure I had something to eat. […]

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Anxiety Chronic Pain I'm only human PTSD The People Behind My Eyes

A Little Reassurance

I went to see the General Practioner today. I thought it would be a long appointment but it wasn’t. I was happy about that. When I saw him, I got a lot of reassurance that the surgery will be just fine and that I’ll not have any bleeding issues as a result of the surgery. […]

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Chronic Pain The People Behind My Eyes

Ablation Surgery Scheduled

I found out today that my surgery is Friday November 13th. I thought it was going to be sooner but nope. November 13th will be here before I know it! Before then I have pre-op appointments, including a COVID 19 test to be taken. The surgery is a uterine ablation. It’s short, sweet and is […]

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Chronic Pain The People Behind My Eyes

Watching TV

Wow. I actually have a TV now. It’s been 15 years. I can’t believe there’s a little flat screen here. It’s so darn cute! I just love it. My CNA went with me to buy the TV because I had no idea what to get. I needed a Wi-Fi TV of a certain brand, but […]

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(CRSD) Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy Chronic Pain Lupus PTSD The People Behind My Eyes

Therapy Review : Pain. Ablation. Joe

I’m quite close to chucking it all and heading to the emergency room for a shot of whatever that was they gave me the last time I was there. It’s been a week of high pain and vomiting. I hoped I’d last until it’s time for the ablation but I can’t stand it. Not only […]

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Anxiety Chronic Pain I'm only human Lupus PTSD Rag Doll Self Portrait The People Behind My Eyes Therapy Review

Therapy Review : Knowing Pain. Sorrow Dolls

Last week I made a statement in therapy that I had to reexamine. I said that all I know is pain. I’ve had Lupus since I was a child and I had my mother to deal with. Now I’ve got Lupus, other health issues and mental health issues, all very painful to live with. Maybe […]

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Art Artists Thoughts The People Behind My Eyes

Smiles

❤ Faith

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Anxiety Chronic Pain I'm only human Lupus The People Behind My Eyes Therapy Review

Therapy Review : Belonging

I told Dr D about my Nebula projector. He asked if I am feeling older and question my place in the universe. I certainly didn’t connect the two but he did. He mentioned that I turned 49 late August and that people in midlife begin to ask deeper questions about life and seek out stars […]

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The People Behind My Eyes Visionary

Stars at Home

I purchased a star projector from Amazon that puts moving stars on my ceiling. Absolutely mesmerizing. I’m so loving this. Besides stars, something wonderful happened. I was laying in bed kind of lonely when the doorbell rang. I answered thinking it was Amazon. Instead of it being Amazon I was delivered flowers from friends. I […]