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(CRSD) Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy Chronic Pain Lupus The People Behind My Eyes

The Pointless ER Visit

Well then, I guess even the ER is refusing real pain therapies to people with documented Lupus and Chronic Regional Sympathetic Dystrophy (CRSD). I showed up at a sustained level 9 pain with my foot and leg messed up only to be given a line of crap and some Tylenol. Uh huh, Tylenol! I cried. […]

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Art

Darn Foot

It’s been awhile since I had more than pain going on with the foot. Last night I hurt so badly I sure thought I was going to the hospital! The difficulty is that it is swollen 3x it’s normal size and is split open. It hurts more than I can say and yet the doctor […]

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African-American Rag Doll Art Black Children Originals Rag Doll

Annette the African American Bag Holder Rag Doll

I’m happy to have finished her. It feels really good. Here she is in her handmade dress which is upcycled from a handmade Indian blouse with beautiful beaded details in red, gold and blue. Annette is approximately 35 inches long. Her hair is made of beautiful, textured yarn that looks great in a ponytail or […]

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Anxiety Art Art therapy Artists Thoughts Experimental design Mixed Media Paper PTSD Sketchbook diary The People Behind My Eyes

What If. Art Thoughts.

All ‘what if’ roads lead to nowhere. I got to thinking, what if I get this art table but I still don’t paint? Then of course my head took off, so I decided to sit in my wheelchair at the dinner table and paint a ‘what if’ road map. What if I struggle with the […]

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Anxiety Art therapy Artists Thoughts Life is like a box of The People Behind My Eyes Therapy Review

Table Trouble

Dr D and I again discussed my inability to paint. It pains me that I feel incapable of it. I still don’t trust the same though I’m getting better. But I also realized that I don’t have the same amount of alone time I once had before everything fell apart. I needed alone time to […]

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Anxiety I'm only human The People Behind My Eyes

Fun with friends

They came for tea and a meal of chicken with sides. They came to see the frogs, fish, snails and the cat. We had the best time, we really did. I need to let myself be ok with the good time. Don’t think of what I could have done differently or let my brain beat […]

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Chronic Pain Lupus PTSD The People Behind My Eyes

You don’t look sick

I get that a lot. As a matter of fact, the new CNA, the one I like quite a bit, said I look like I could get out of the chair and start walking. She said I look perfectly healthy. I’m beginning to be ok with such nonsense. I can’t get upset with people for […]

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Anxiety The People Behind My Eyes

Music and Emotional Spoons

I hardly ever do this anymore. It’s been months since I turned on music for myself. Music is emotional for me, anxiety provoking. I feel so deeply with it that it’s often uncomfortable. But this time I turned it on, lay on the bed and took it all in. I don’t know. It seems significant […]

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African-American Rag Doll Art Originals Rag Doll

Kitty. Frog. Doll.

It’s been so quiet at home. A few times I sat in the quiet feeling deep peace and satisfaction but other times I wanted to curl up in a ball having been overtaken by emotional pain. It seems life is at fifty – fifty right now. I’m still with the old CNA company because I’m […]

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Art

Thin skin

Thin skinned, if any skin at all. I really want to cry. I don’t get it. I guess I do in a way. The dolls can be controversial. Will I crumble each time a negative comment comes in or a negative emoji is placed beside a Black Folk Art doll? Am I really going to […]