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Art Life is like a box of Nature and People

For My Friends

Faith

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Anxiety I'm only human The People Behind My Eyes

Patience still. Joy.

After effort to let go of worry and focus on what I have the ability to change, I was better able to sleep and eat without vomiting. I’ve had no overwhelming anxiety. I still have anxiety about this recent health issue but it’s not choking me like it was. For a minute there I started […]

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Anxiety The People Behind My Eyes

No Answers Yet

I got up, got dressed and went to see the doctor today but he wasn’t there. The man is on vacation. I was so upset. Now I have to wait about 3 weeks to get in to see him. Before I see the man who will make many decisions about my health, I’ll go in […]

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Anxiety I'm only human The People Behind My Eyes

Weepy. Wait and See?

I don’t know what my problem is but I am weepy today. I’ve been on the verge of tears all day. Finally I dropped a few tears when I ran across a painting created a long time ago that I’d forgotten about. I looked at it and it just touched me. I don’t know. It’s […]

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Anxiety I'm only human The People Behind My Eyes

A quiet Friday. Health update.

I woke from nightmares yet again, screaming myself awake. The cat looked at me like I’m crazy. I then hurried to get myself together before my CNA arrived. I didn’t want to be seen that frazzled and shaken. Despite a rough start, it looks like this evening will be quiet and unassuming. I’ve completed some […]

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Abuse Dreams Multiple Personality Disorder PTSD The People Behind My Eyes

The unwelcome child

I just woke from screaming “No!” in the dream where I wasn’t being attacked or physically abused. In the dream I was staying with friends in their home. My mother was staying there, too. The only thing I got to keep of my things after the move were dolls, the clothes on my back and […]

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The People Behind My Eyes

It was a good day despite thunderstorms

There was lightening and thunder. The cat hid under the bed just as the lights went out. There was nothing more my nurse’s aide and I could do except sip apple Martinis by candle light. It’s stormed all day long but once the lights came back on I had pork chops, baked potato and green […]

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Abstract Art Anxiety Art therapy Lupus The People Behind My Eyes

Anxiety. What if Painting

Of course my head has been everywhere. I don’t feel good at all and the pain of this is constant. At first I thought, it’s just more pain, something I can ignore. I still think that but this is a new pain so I worry about not knowing what the pain means. Is my stomach […]

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Anxiety I'm only human Lupus The People Behind My Eyes

A New Course

I’m in the process of changing all my care to one hospital system instead of trying to have a Family Doctor who gives referrals to one hospital and a Hematologist and surgeon at a totally different hospital. For the sake of being clear on which hospital I want to go to I’ll just call it […]

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I'm only human Lupus

Results. Enough. I’ll keep going.

The results showed a 2x2x2 tumor in my uterus (about the size of a lime). They want to see about non-surgical treatments but if the Oncologist / Hematologist says I can’t take it because of my blood disorder then I have to have it surgically removed. The estimated time for healing I was given was […]