It’s a difficult time right now. Stress is high enough that my body is killing me. Stress is high enough that I’ve trusted too much due to mental exhaustion. I went running from the building bc I thought it was going to blow up. I thought God sent me a…
Epiphany: A Future that is Mine
CONTENT – Child Abuse. Strong emotion. Therapy Review. The art work is not finished but will eventually be in my Etsy shop. If I believe I have a real future and a real hope, why do I keep wanting to go back and fix things? Why do I still feel…
Out with the Hospital, in with the Clinic
I made all my appointments at the hospital every six months since 2018 but it was time for a change. I’m seeing the same doctor just at a clinic associated with the hospital. I’m happy I made the change. People spoke to each other in the clinic and it wasn’t…
Brief Medical Hospital Stay
I’m home from a brief medical hospital stay but in the entry I’ve lead with emotional issues. I have to admit I am emotionally excitable and I cry at the drop of a hat. Today I cried my eyes out concerning the CNA who left. I was crying because I…
Teeth. Punishment. OCD.
I don’t deserve pretty dentures after the way I treated my natural teeth, that’s the way I thought anyway. So when it came time to choose the color of my dentures I didn’t want to choose a pretty white. I was going to choose a coffee drinker white, or a…
Better Boundaries This Time Around
You know what? I did better with boundaries and setting limits than I first remembered. I originally looked back at the year with the old CNA and saw how many times I drew the line. The first thing was how she would shoo me away with the back of her…
A Gentle Youngen. Updated.
My new CNA is a gentle youngen with a strained home life. I like her. She likes my cat despite being black lol. Joe screamed at her the whole day though, trying to get her attention. He really wants her attention. I had to threaten him with the spray bottle…
Eating Disorder Clinic. Outpatient Care Only.
Today I started care at the eating disorder clinic for abstinence and binge eating. I didn’t feel judged at all. I didn’t feel like my size disgusted them. I know not eating for 3 days is a problem but I didn’t realize it would be something to try to make…
OCD and Eating Disorders. Art.
Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and Eating Disorders occur together up to 40% of the time. My OCD and my eating disorder have gone untreated because there were other things that took first place like getting me emotionally stable so I could stay out of the psych ward, moving to stable housing,…
Fear of Others Forgetting, Leaving, Criticizing.
To most I don’t look nearly as unhealthy as I am. Will people move on and expect me to keep up bc they think I look like I can? Will people remember how bad it was physically and emotionally and have grace for me when I get messed up during…