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Anxiety I'm only human Lupus PTSD The People Behind My Eyes

Pelvic Ultrasound. Therapy and Accessibility.

I’m going to have a transvaginal ultrasound Wednesday the 8th at 1:10pm. One of my best friends is taking me. She and her husband took me to the doctor yesterday. When I came out and it was over, I was emotionally spent. I cried and cried. Right now I feel like crap. I want to […]

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Abuse Anxiety PTSD The People Behind My Eyes Therapy Review

Therapy Review: Fix What I Didn’t Break

My heart is heavy. I talked to Dr. D about the nurses aides not showing up again. They weren’t here last Monday when I talked to him and they aren’t here today and more than likely won’t be here tomorrow. Four or five people have told me that I’m not the problem with why people […]

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Anxiety Life is like a box of The People Behind My Eyes

Negative

Her test was negative. I can breathe a sigh of relief! Today is my CNAs last day. I’m a little bitter because she didn’t turn out to be who she so loudly claims. The hunt continues. Faith

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Anxiety Life is like a box of The People Behind My Eyes

Care Plan

Nothing is business as usual while waiting for a fast track COVID – 19 test. I definitely lost sleep over it last night but I was able to get a good nap. I feel much better. The nursing company said I’d know more about the care plan today which is that I will have the […]

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Artists Thoughts Chronic Pain I'm only human Lupus PTSD The People Behind My Eyes Therapy Review

Halfway Normal

I never know when I’m going to feel well enough to get out of bed. Three days in and I wondered if there would be a fourth, but today I feel halfway normal. Usually I don’t know if I’m going to be able to stand being alive because the pain is so bad, but then […]

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Anxiety The People Behind My Eyes

Cracks and Judgements

The CNA is was different today. There were cracks in the peace here. She was touchy, sensitive. I was messing with her and put a leaf that fell off my plant in the middle of the table where she sits. She said it wasn’t funny and proceeded to tell me to be nice and how […]

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Chronic Pain Lupus PTSD The People Behind My Eyes

You don’t look sick

I get that a lot. As a matter of fact, the new CNA, the one I like quite a bit, said I look like I could get out of the chair and start walking. She said I look perfectly healthy. I’m beginning to be ok with such nonsense. I can’t get upset with people for […]

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Art

Therapy Review – Fitting in

We talked about the fight I have with feeling inherently bad. When I found out that I have a blood condition it seemed to confirm that I’m bad through out. That even what runs through my veins is bad. It took a minute to adjust my thinking and conclude that I was replaying one of […]

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Art

Flexibility. Poor Attitudes. Blessings.

I’m not flexible. I try to be but I’m not. Change has never been something I could deal with well. My mind all but rejects the idea of change as if it were a disease. My mother used to tease me saying she was going to change the color of her hair. Oh the idea […]

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Art

The Insanity

I am writing this as a record. I’m appalled by what took place in my home from 8am to 3pm. There’s no excuse for the CNA company to have sent me a temp aide who is blind and can only use one hand! This is who they sent to assist a person in a wheelchair […]