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Chronic Pain Lupus PTSD The People Behind My Eyes

You don’t look sick

I get that a lot. As a matter of fact, the new CNA, the one I like quite a bit, said I look like I could get out of the chair and start walking. She said I look perfectly healthy. I’m beginning to be ok with such nonsense. I can’t get upset with people for […]

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Art

Therapy Review – Fitting in

We talked about the fight I have with feeling inherently bad. When I found out that I have a blood condition it seemed to confirm that I’m bad through out. That even what runs through my veins is bad. It took a minute to adjust my thinking and conclude that I was replaying one of […]

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Art

Flexibility. Poor Attitudes. Blessings.

I’m not flexible. I try to be but I’m not. Change has never been something I could deal with well. My mind all but rejects the idea of change as if it were a disease. My mother used to tease me saying she was going to change the color of her hair. Oh the idea […]

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Art

The Insanity

I am writing this as a record. I’m appalled by what took place in my home from 8am to 3pm. There’s no excuse for the CNA company to have sent me a temp aide who is blind and can only use one hand! This is who they sent to assist a person in a wheelchair […]

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Art

Life Choices

My therapist and CICOA worker and I are in agreement that the current CNA, the one who just got here, is not a good match for long-term care for me. Despite liking her, there are very poor life decisions that are being made that will affect my household. While I will not pass judgment on […]

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Art

Basically Quiet Week. New CNA.

The new girl is calm, generally not excitable. I like her and hope she works out for at least a few months. I will not be the type, this time, to let abuse go until it gets crazy. As an abuse survivor I asked myself what I was doing to make the other CNA behave […]

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Abuse I'm only human PTSD The People Behind My Eyes

Good Day. My voice. Their hope.

It’s been a good day. Pain has been low and stress is near zero. It’s been good. I did a little cleaning, drank some hot chocolate and talked to friends and neighbors. I’m also feeling good about the firing of my CNA. I didn’t think the company would care nearly as much as they do. […]

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Anxiety PTSD The People Behind My Eyes

CNA – Rude. Ignored. Behavioral Issues.

(smh) What do you do with people sometimes? I wonder if she’s truly oblivious to the message she’s sending or if she’s aware and having additude issues. My CNA is sitting in the chair with her radio on w both earbuds in. She’s either watching a movie and making comments about the movie or she’s […]

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PTSD The People Behind My Eyes

CNA: Inappropriate Behavior

I talked to Dr D about this as well as my nurse. Both were quite shocked by it. My current CNA has been showing up for work. She does good work, learns quickly, doesn’t burn my food or anything like that. As a matter of fact, she cooks pretty well. Friday I was sitting at […]

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Anxiety Chronic Pain Lupus The People Behind My Eyes

Stop that! And the fluffy, purple robe.

I reluctantly write this entry. Well, the CNA situation did end just days after I wrote that we had 2 good weeks. There was a lot of difficulty with attendance and an entitled attitude that truly got under my skin. However, when she quit a few weeks back, I allowed her to stay with the […]