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Anxiety Chronic Pain I'm only human Lupus The People Behind My Eyes Therapy Review

Therapy Review : Belonging

I told Dr D about my Nebula projector. He asked if I am feeling older and question my place in the universe. I certainly didn’t connect the two but he did. He mentioned that I turned 49 late August and that people in midlife begin to ask deeper questions about life and seek out stars […]

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Life is like a box of The People Behind My Eyes

CNA Chronicles: Grave Visits

Since my last CNA quit I’ve had 3 new one’s here. There was one young girl that danced with me. I wrote about her last week but she wasn’t able to return because she got fired from the company. This meant I had to get someone rather quickly. Well, Sunday I didn’t have any care […]

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Life is like a box of The People Behind My Eyes

Precious Moments

Yesterday my CNA and I made cookies and danced. While in the kitchen stirring she did the foot dance moves while I did the top half dance moves from my wheelchair. Doing that for me was deeply touching. A CNA does more than cook and clean. She is often emotional support as well. Like health […]

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Anxiety Chronic Pain Life is like a box of PTSD The People Behind My Eyes Therapy Review

Therapy Review: CNAs. Anger. Touch. Pain.

I’ve been struggling emotionally since the GYN appointment. It was a bit much for me. Sleep has been rough and anxiety has been really high. I’m kind of struggling a bit. We talked about continuing deep breathing and lavender for anxiety relief. We also talked about the anxiety that comes with this CNA just up […]

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Anxiety Life is like a box of The People Behind My Eyes

CNA Chronicles: Temper Tantrum

Part of me wants to laugh because of how absurd this is, but the other part of me is sad with a broken heart. My CNA quit this morning! She didn’t quit the company, she quit me because I sent a text saying that she needs to have transportation by the end of the month […]

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Anxiety I'm only human Lupus PTSD The People Behind My Eyes

Pelvic Ultrasound. Therapy and Accessibility.

I’m going to have a transvaginal ultrasound Wednesday the 8th at 1:10pm. One of my best friends is taking me. She and her husband took me to the doctor yesterday. When I came out and it was over, I was emotionally spent. I cried and cried. Right now I feel like crap. I want to […]

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Abuse Anxiety PTSD The People Behind My Eyes Therapy Review

Therapy Review: Fix What I Didn’t Break

My heart is heavy. I talked to Dr. D about the nurses aides not showing up again. They weren’t here last Monday when I talked to him and they aren’t here today and more than likely won’t be here tomorrow. Four or five people have told me that I’m not the problem with why people […]

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Anxiety Life is like a box of The People Behind My Eyes

Negative

Her test was negative. I can breathe a sigh of relief! Today is my CNAs last day. I’m a little bitter because she didn’t turn out to be who she so loudly claims. The hunt continues. Faith

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Anxiety Life is like a box of The People Behind My Eyes

Care Plan

Nothing is business as usual while waiting for a fast track COVID – 19 test. I definitely lost sleep over it last night but I was able to get a good nap. I feel much better. The nursing company said I’d know more about the care plan today which is that I will have the […]

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Artists Thoughts Chronic Pain I'm only human Lupus PTSD The People Behind My Eyes Therapy Review

Halfway Normal

I never know when I’m going to feel well enough to get out of bed. Three days in and I wondered if there would be a fourth, but today I feel halfway normal. Usually I don’t know if I’m going to be able to stand being alive because the pain is so bad, but then […]