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Anxiety Life is like a box of The People Behind My Eyes

Negative

Her test was negative. I can breathe a sigh of relief! Today is my CNAs last day. I’m a little bitter because she didn’t turn out to be who she so loudly claims. The hunt continues. Faith

Categories
Anxiety Life is like a box of The People Behind My Eyes

Care Plan

Nothing is business as usual while waiting for a fast track COVID – 19 test. I definitely lost sleep over it last night but I was able to get a good nap. I feel much better. The nursing company said I’d know more about the care plan today which is that I will have the […]

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Artists Thoughts Chronic Pain I'm only human Lupus PTSD The People Behind My Eyes Therapy Review

Halfway Normal

I never know when I’m going to feel well enough to get out of bed. Three days in and I wondered if there would be a fourth, but today I feel halfway normal. Usually I don’t know if I’m going to be able to stand being alive because the pain is so bad, but then […]

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Anxiety The People Behind My Eyes

Cracks and Judgements

The CNA is was different today. There were cracks in the peace here. She was touchy, sensitive. I was messing with her and put a leaf that fell off my plant in the middle of the table where she sits. She said it wasn’t funny and proceeded to tell me to be nice and how […]

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Chronic Pain Lupus PTSD The People Behind My Eyes

You don’t look sick

I get that a lot. As a matter of fact, the new CNA, the one I like quite a bit, said I look like I could get out of the chair and start walking. She said I look perfectly healthy. I’m beginning to be ok with such nonsense. I can’t get upset with people for […]

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Art

Therapy Review – Fitting in

We talked about the fight I have with feeling inherently bad. When I found out that I have a blood condition it seemed to confirm that I’m bad through out. That even what runs through my veins is bad. It took a minute to adjust my thinking and conclude that I was replaying one of […]

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Art

Flexibility. Poor Attitudes. Blessings.

I’m not flexible. I try to be but I’m not. Change has never been something I could deal with well. My mind all but rejects the idea of change as if it were a disease. My mother used to tease me saying she was going to change the color of her hair. Oh the idea […]

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Art

The Insanity

I am writing this as a record. I’m appalled by what took place in my home from 8am to 3pm. There’s no excuse for the CNA company to have sent me a temp aide who is blind and can only use one hand! This is who they sent to assist a person in a wheelchair […]

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Art

Life Choices

My therapist and CICOA worker and I are in agreement that the current CNA, the one who just got here, is not a good match for long-term care for me. Despite liking her, there are very poor life decisions that are being made that will affect my household. While I will not pass judgment on […]

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Art

Basically Quiet Week. New CNA.

The new girl is calm, generally not excitable. I like her and hope she works out for at least a few months. I will not be the type, this time, to let abuse go until it gets crazy. As an abuse survivor I asked myself what I was doing to make the other CNA behave […]