Joe is a guardian cat. A watching feline. A gentle whiskered friend whom I adore. It’s just that sometimes the psychosis pushes me away from him a little, away from people a little. I want to isolate.
I have to force myself to accept this new mental weirdness and fear. I wear paranoia. I’m dripping in it. I only know to fill my cup and clean my paint brushes. Art it out!
Covid-19 handed me a fever high enough to leave permanent hallucinations and damage, for which I feel shame. But my cat Joe still finds me palatable to love and be seen cuddling, openly. His love gives me a little more strength to keep going.
What goes in your cup of trials and stress to dilute it so you can do one more day ? 🙂
My mind will catch up with me if I turn over and go to sleep.
Grief will catch up with me if I allow my mind to slow down.
I’m afraid of the images that are so vivid even with my eyes closed so I watch worthless TV shows and listen to books I’ve heard more than the author has heard it himself.
I feel myself running. I’m afraid of being left. I hate hanging up the phone after therapy. I hate when my CNA leaves for the day. I feel alone in the world when people leave. It’s not that they are leaving to go home, it feels like they’re leaving me.
My face is different all the time.
I see my different selves in photos.
My appearance drastically changes as the day goes on.
It takes so much mental and physical energy to leave the house. When I return, I look swollen and tired. Seriously, these two photos were taken hours apart.
I often do not recognize myself in the mirror and that spooks me.
On days when this is happening I go in the restroom with the lights off, and keep my eyes down so I don’t catch the eyes of the person in the mirror.
I recently looked at more photos of my mother and her sisters. You can tell we share blood. I don’t mind clearly being from that family. Years ago I started getting ok in my head with having my mother’s hands. It feels like it should bother me to look so much like that family but it doesn’t. I suppose it would be another story if they were dog-butt ugly.
Art
I like to play with light on my face. I often want my face to be my art, expressing different emotions.
Photos after dental surgery (and with a filter) allowed me to show how my heart feels bruised and beaten by grief. It’s not just grief for -K-, it’s grief over the catastrophic consequences from the selfish choices my family routinely made when I was young. It’s grief over decisions I made as an adult trying to survive my past.
Sometimes these things feel as if they consume me.
*No worries. These photos are from past dental surgery. I’m 100% safe and healed, as seen in the recent photos at the top of the entry. *
I sold a few paintings.
I sold the little girl with the balloon
and the one about faith. The funds will go towards my trip at the end of June. I’m hoping to really fill my Etsy shop in hopes of making more money for my three day stay. I’ve also updated my Redbubble shopthat offers prints and products of my art pieces.
It’s 2 in the morning. I have things to do tomorrow but being alone in the dark is hard.
My head is no better than when I started writing. Please, I need peace inside.
“Young Child with White Balloon” is an acrylic, wax color and ink original art piece with strong contrasting colors and swirls. She is first of 3 in the “White Balloon” Series.
Mod Podge gives texture to the the flowers and the white lace at the bottom of her purple and blue dress. White bows are in her black pony tails.
Still pumped by lots of tea, I was moved to do short and simple entries of art that’s ready for a home. My apologies for duplicate entries.
There’s something about the balloon that moves me. It shows up in two more pieces.
Please visit my Etsy shop for more photo details and sales information. I also accept PayPal.
When I painted little Gloria I was thinking about the production Les Miserable, about Éponine specifically. That character touches me. She loves intensely but quietly. She needs to be recognized yet she is always in the shadows. She has mastered her environment but her heart has been shielded from decay. She’s rough and fragile, equally.
Good news. The painting Gloria is being packaged to travel half way across the United States to a wall waiting just for her.
Although the original has been placed, you can purchase prints from my Redbubble shop in the section for children. Please see the sidebar for the Redbubble link.
Guess what was bartered today? Guess who gets a new home? Red Balloon! Good choice.
Sam’s Red Balloon – SOLD
The African American boy with blue accents around his eyes stands tall in front of a rainbow background. There’s a faint show of a crown of small, round lights circling young Sam’s head. Open the detailed image and look closely, you’ll see it. Your light is still there, even if other’s can’t readily see it. So when it glows only above your head just remember, your light shines to guide you, not others.
Art Title: Sam’s Red Balloon
Size: 8.5 x 5.5
Media: watercolor, 98 lb paper
Finish: unsealed, unmounted
Style: African Americana, Black Folk
“Beautiful Day” is a small acrylic painting of a little girl carrying a single flower walking through a meadow of wildflowers.
When I first started this painting the little girl was at the top of a steep hill holding a small flower. She looked down to the single bud below. There was a decision to be made, will she keep what she knows or risk and live in the new? I answered my own question.
The young girl is now at the bottom of the hill where not one flower survives but a bountiful garden of lavender, green and soft yellow grows farther than she can see. She carries the first flower still, there was no reason to leave it behind, no reason to abandon all when moving forward.
The original of Beautiful Day found a wall of it’s own but you can find her in small to large size prints in my Redbubble  print shop. Wait ’till you see her on the tote bag and pillow. She’s adorable! “Beautiful Day” is what I like to call smile, feel good art.
After lightly spraying the surface of the paper, I laid on top two bags of Sweet and Spicy Tea. I then added blackberries and blueberries so that they could leave their mark on the surface. I allowed it to dry then added white watercolor paint to the surface. Small details were added such as the single bloom yellow flower and the small metallic dots below the fringe of her white, sketched shawl.
Art Title: Strawberry Kisses
Art by: Faith Magdalene Austin
Medium: Watercolor, Tea, Blackberries, Blueberries,
Size: 6.5 x 4.5
Style: Modern, Whimsical
This sweet girl is currently available.
Thank you for visiting SUNDRIP – Art for Life
Faith
I’d like to discuss how I come up with the prices for dolls, original acrylics, original oil paintings, large art, small art, etc.
I had no clue what to charge when I first started offering art on Etsy or right here, however online guides have been helpful. One can google how much to charge when a person asks to put their art on the front of a book, inside a book, used on a webpage, on and on. There are artist’s guides to pricing. What I found most helpful was to think of how much I want out of the painting, add in several factors which I’ll list, then I come up with a general listing price. I look around on Etsy for art of that style and size then finalize my listing price. I try and tag / use keywords by looking at other art because it can be difficult to know what to say so people find my art. Continue reading “How I Price My Art”
In this original art piece, the sky holds the largest number of flowers which float freely in a cloud of midnight blue, white and turquoise. The marriage of colors brings the story together of a little girl who was once told by her mother, “If you want roses out of life, plant a garden.” She did.
Art Title: The Little Rose Girl
Art by: Faith Magdalene Austin
Medium: Acrylic, gesso, crackle medium, heavy paper
Size: 6.5 x 4.5
Available via PayPal or in my Etsy shop. See sidebar for contact details.
Please respect the copyright and the artists wishes. Thank you.ÂÂ
