Categories
Anxiety I'm only human Lupus PTSD The People Behind My Eyes

Panic Mode

I go from sleepless nights to straight fatigue with an undercurrent of panic and impatience. I’ve vomited and stressed myself right into an outbreak all over my chest. I can’t get Benadryl until April 1st. Man. I’ve got a doctor’s appointment the 30th of this month. I wish I could cancel. I’ve got to calm […]

Categories
Lupus The People Behind My Eyes

Self Distancing – Coronavirus Precautions

I feel like I always do, a little under the weather and a lot in pain, and that’s how I plan to keep it. I am now self distancing from the general public. I need my CNAs so they can come, but no one else can enter and I’m not leaving. I don’t even have […]

Categories
I'm only human Lupus The People Behind My Eyes

A box full of life

I know I’ll have to fight these people again but for now I’ve got a month’s worth of shots in my hands. What a relief! Five days waiting for these felt like forever. Thank you to everyone who called, text, emailed and left comments and likes of support. It’s much appreciated. ❤️ Faith

Categories
I'm only human Lupus The People Behind My Eyes

Shots Update

I’m approved until December of this year then the fight is on again. However, they did approve it so I’ll have shots tomorrow. I only had one shot left, one! Wow what a relief! A huge, huge relief! I was so nervous. You can bet I’ll order 2 days early then put those shots back […]

Categories
Lupus PTSD The People Behind My Eyes

The Insurance Fight

It came time to refill my fondaparinux shots which cost $5000 a month and that is usually covered by my insurance. The insurance company has denied payment and demands I use a cheaper blood thinner. I’m allergic to the other thinners such as Lovenox and Heparin. I bled internally and can’t take them. Here I […]

Categories
Artists Thoughts Chronic Pain I'm only human Lupus PTSD The People Behind My Eyes Therapy Review

Halfway Normal

I never know when I’m going to feel well enough to get out of bed. Three days in and I wondered if there would be a fourth, but today I feel halfway normal. Usually I don’t know if I’m going to be able to stand being alive because the pain is so bad, but then […]

Categories
Chronic Pain Lupus The People Behind My Eyes

Pain and Fatigue

I’m flat on my back right now and have been for 2 days. My pain levels are quite high with relief coming by way of fatigue. I sleep like I’ve taken some kind of medication, though I’ve not. My neck is the main culprit with shoulders close behind. I’ve been doing stretches in my waking […]

Categories
Abuse Anxiety Dreams Lupus PTSD Siblings abused The People Behind My Eyes

Dreams

Content – Physical abuse. Emotional abuse. My dreams have ranged from strange to emotional to terrifying. Last night I had a dream I lost my identity but was assisted by a stranger to get it back. When I was handed papers that confirmed what I was saying all along, I am in fact Faith Austin, […]

Categories
(CRSD) Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy Artists Thoughts Chronic Pain Lupus Self Portrait The People Behind My Eyes

Therapy Review : Acceptance. Art Flame

Content : Brief suicide check in. Explaining myself, memories. Acceptance. Pain. So I walked into the building and my pain level rose to a nine out of ten. From the knee down on both sides it hurt like all get out. I told Dr D that I worry I eventually won’t be able to walk […]

Categories
(CRSD) Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy Chronic Pain Lupus The People Behind My Eyes

All Flare ups End

I have to remember that all flare ups end. It feels like they won’t but it will. It takes time I feel like I don’t have to give. The pain is intense. If I put pressure on the foot it starts to burn like I dipped it in fire, but it stops burning within minutes. […]