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Abstract Art Anxiety Art therapy Lupus The People Behind My Eyes

Anxiety. What if Painting

Of course my head has been everywhere. I don’t feel good at all and the pain of this is constant. At first I thought, it’s just more pain, something I can ignore. I still think that but this is a new pain so I worry about not knowing what the pain means. Is my stomach […]

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Anxiety I'm only human Lupus The People Behind My Eyes

A New Course

I’m in the process of changing all my care to one hospital system instead of trying to have a Family Doctor who gives referrals to one hospital and a Hematologist and surgeon at a totally different hospital. For the sake of being clear on which hospital I want to go to I’ll just call it […]

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I'm only human Lupus

Results. Enough. I’ll keep going.

The results showed a 2x2x2 tumor in my uterus (about the size of a lime). They want to see about non-surgical treatments but if the Oncologist / Hematologist says I can’t take it because of my blood disorder then I have to have it surgically removed. The estimated time for healing I was given was […]

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Lupus The People Behind My Eyes

Therapy Review : Health Review

I’m a little angry. My hands are tied with therapy. I’m not going to go in the wheelchair then leave it outside while I go up the stairs and in the door. Transportation to his office could smooth out if I used indygo or the CICOA rides, but the problem remains – I can’t get […]

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Anxiety I'm only human Lupus PTSD The People Behind My Eyes

Pelvic Ultrasound. Therapy and Accessibility.

I’m going to have a transvaginal ultrasound Wednesday the 8th at 1:10pm. One of my best friends is taking me. She and her husband took me to the doctor yesterday. When I came out and it was over, I was emotionally spent. I cried and cried. Right now I feel like crap. I want to […]

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Lupus PTSD The People Behind My Eyes

On seeing the doctor. Blood disorder issues.

Content: Passing more golf ball sized blood clots. Oncologist and Gynecologist appointments coming up. I went to the doctor but they were unable to examine me for various reasons. They wanted to start me on a medication that I can’t take because of the blood clots history. I called my Oncologist / Hematologist to verify […]

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Anxiety I'm only human Lupus PTSD The People Behind My Eyes

Perimenopause and clotting. Blood thinner realities.

Content: Very personal entry. Perhaps not for the squeamish. Talk of blood and blood clots as well as being on a blood thinner during the cycle. I’m struggling physically. I thought I was going to the hospital last night. I didn’t go because I thought to myself, I just can’t do the battery of tests […]

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Anxiety I'm only human Lupus The People Behind My Eyes

CNA Chronicles: Moving Forward

I stayed with this company for a year and a half but I should have left about 4 to 6 months ago. I really had no intention of leaving until I got a call about their inability to staff me and other clients on a regular basis. It appears there’s a lot going on, much […]

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Anxiety I'm only human Lupus The People Behind My Eyes

A little lonely during self distancing

I’ve been self isolating since March. It’s getting hard to keep this up since I can’t even get a regular aide out here. I sat here for 2 days with no nurse’s aide bc the company has few workers bc of the COVID-19 situation. School programs are closed. Child care is scarce and so are […]

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I'm only human Lupus The People Behind My Eyes

Shoes

I feel as if I’ve regained what was lost. I finally have shoes I can wear other than the Converse. I obsessed over this for two years until finally I got my wish. I say obsessed but it was begging in prayer that I please find a pair of shoes to wear with my skirts […]