I take pen to paper and near violently sketch, in order to manage obsessive thoughts and counting. The Etsy painting expresses anxiety building that I needed to manage. I paint what’s swirling in my head, marching, counting or popping. Art helps manage the symptoms and situation. When focused, I’ll express…
Category: Major Depression
One Shot. Roll On.
Today part of me just mourned the loss of the old CNA that I really liked, the one who said I’m not disabled. It was short lived. I’d rather go without the toxicity thank you very much!!! This head is tired. I spoke with the owner who reassured me that…
A little frustrated and it shows
I intended to keep the colors brighter like always, shockingly bright, but this time darker colors felt right. The rainbow was given a darker red and a mustard yellow stripe in a midnight blue sky. The clothing of the figures is in plum, dark red, green and blue. As I…
The Whole World is On Fire
This company, CICOA, that serves the elderly and disabled to find so called care companies to come in the house has now been told that I have DID. They, CICOA, told the doctor if I wanted care I’d have to give them both psychiatric and medical diagnosis. I was not…
Why So Much Anxiety?
Anxiety comes over like waves. One minute my head is above water, the next I have waves of debilitating anxiety. It washes over me so that all I want to do is go to bed with the covers over my head. I don’t feel like I’m coping. I wish I…
At War With Myself – Disordered Eating
Content – Disordered eating. Binge eating, no purge. Shame. Hopeless feelings. Anxiety. Inpatient for medication management. I had therapy today where it was decided that I’ll have a short set time with extra home care. I’ll be adding a 3 hr day to Saturday until the beginning of the year….
Slow Moving and Art Updates.
I woke around 9am but I didn’t get up until 1 pm. I just couldn’t get going. Yesterday was a full day in that we went to Michael’s craft store, Hobby Lobby and Lowes. I got a sunflower stash at Michael’s, all 4 of the large sunflowers total $10. Score!…
Artist Thoughts: The Color of Healing
I recently purchased a new dress for the first time in over 30 years. I’d been wanting a kaftan so I purchased a pink tie dye kaftan. That got the ball rolling and lead to dress number 2. When I was a child I didn’t wear much white because I…
My Goals are Still in Sight
I’m still rolling. ๐ What an exciting few weeks. I went from mourning my old CNA to getting a new one with whom I am very well matched. Having her means I can let her do some things and leave other things to me. I can keep up with my…
Strong Enough
Today is one of those days where I feel the weight of what happened in the hospital. I feel shocked, stunned, grieved. I can only describe it as a train wreck where I can still hear the sound of metal crumbling around me. What I feel today must be what…