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Anxiety Chronic Pain I'm only human Lupus PTSD Rag Doll Self Portrait The People Behind My Eyes Therapy Review

Therapy Review : Knowing Pain. Sorrow Dolls

Last week I made a statement in therapy that I had to reexamine. I said that all I know is pain. I’ve had Lupus since I was a child and I had my mother to deal with. Now I’ve got Lupus, other health issues and mental health issues, all very painful to live with. Maybe […]

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Anxiety Chronic Pain I'm only human Lupus The People Behind My Eyes Therapy Review

Therapy Review : Belonging

I told Dr D about my Nebula projector. He asked if I am feeling older and question my place in the universe. I certainly didn’t connect the two but he did. He mentioned that I turned 49 late August and that people in midlife begin to ask deeper questions about life and seek out stars […]

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Anxiety Chronic Pain Life is like a box of PTSD The People Behind My Eyes Therapy Review

Therapy Review: CNAs. Anger. Touch. Pain.

I’ve been struggling emotionally since the GYN appointment. It was a bit much for me. Sleep has been rough and anxiety has been really high. I’m kind of struggling a bit. We talked about continuing deep breathing and lavender for anxiety relief. We also talked about the anxiety that comes with this CNA just up […]

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Abuse Anxiety PTSD The People Behind My Eyes Therapy Review

Therapy Review: Fix What I Didn’t Break

My heart is heavy. I talked to Dr. D about the nurses aides not showing up again. They weren’t here last Monday when I talked to him and they aren’t here today and more than likely won’t be here tomorrow. Four or five people have told me that I’m not the problem with why people […]

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Artists Thoughts Chronic Pain I'm only human Lupus PTSD The People Behind My Eyes Therapy Review

Halfway Normal

I never know when I’m going to feel well enough to get out of bed. Three days in and I wondered if there would be a fourth, but today I feel halfway normal. Usually I don’t know if I’m going to be able to stand being alive because the pain is so bad, but then […]

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Abuse PTSD The People Behind My Eyes Therapy Review

Therapy Review : Sadistic Mother

Content – Verbal abuse account. Emotional. Anxiety. Mention of physical abuse. Therapy was hard. At 48 years old I’m still not over the abuse. When I said this to Dr D. he commented that the abuse was extreme and for a very long time. It makes me want to cry. I’ve been running from this […]

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(CRSD) Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy Anxiety Lupus PTSD The People Behind My Eyes Therapy Review

Therapy Review : Suicide Disease. Hope Art.

Content – Talk of suicidal feelings surrounding Chronic Relex Sympathetic Dystrophy (CRSD), some hopelessness, hope art and talk of anniversary dates. We talked about how hopeless it feels to walk into the ER believing it’s a source of relief only to be told that there’s a crisis out there that has nothing to do with […]

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Anxiety Art therapy Artists Thoughts Life is like a box of The People Behind My Eyes Therapy Review

Table Trouble

Dr D and I again discussed my inability to paint. It pains me that I feel incapable of it. I still don’t trust the same though I’m getting better. But I also realized that I don’t have the same amount of alone time I once had before everything fell apart. I needed alone time to […]

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Anxiety Art PTSD The People Behind My Eyes Therapy Review

The Reconstruction

Several walls got knocked down. I need to figure out how to build them up with security but also openness. Dr D and I talked about how I now see life as before and after the hospitalization. It’s as if it blew a hole in the middle of my life, my reality and sense of […]

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Abuse African-American Rag Doll Art therapy Artists Thoughts Chronic Pain I'm only human Lupus PTSD The People Behind My Eyes Therapy Review

Therapy Review: Live free. Young Self.

We talked about figuring out how to live with instability, with the unknown. I’m not a very flexible person. I’m not spontaneous, don’t like to have someone jump out and surprise me. But my health is one big unstable lion that is silent for awhile but waiting for the moment to roar. We talked about […]