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Abuse Anxiety Dreams Lupus PTSD Siblings abused The People Behind My Eyes

Dreams

Content – Physical abuse. Emotional abuse. My dreams have ranged from strange to emotional to terrifying. Last night I had a dream I lost my identity but was assisted by a stranger to get it back. When I was handed papers that confirmed what I was saying all along, I am in fact Faith Austin, […]

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Abuse Dreams Major Depression Multiple Personality Disorder PTSD Siblings abused The People Behind My Eyes Therapy Review

Therapy Review : Dreams. Hallucinations.

Content – Extreme physical abuse, siblings abused, emotional abuse We talked about the dream I had where my mother beat my sister without mercy. It was brutal. She did so in a separate room from me, my cousin and 2 aunts. It was so bad and went on so long that I risked myself by […]

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PTSD Siblings abused The People Behind My Eyes Therapy Review

Therapy Review: Woman

Content : Sexual abuse I feel like throwing up. I feel like rolling over in the fetal position to cry. This is the second time the CNA 2 talked to me about homosexuality. The first time I didn’t say much. Today she went into detail and told me I look like a “stud”. That is […]

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Dreams PTSD Siblings abused

Dreams: Burying Fantasies

Content: Aunt tried to kill herself. Brief discussion of cocaine. Death. The gist is that my aunt refused to call me by my name, called me everything else. I refused to answer. Then she called me a ‘bitch’ so I gave her a full account of how much I hate her. I reminded her that […]

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Art Lupus PTSD Siblings abused Sketchbook diary The People Behind My Eyes Therapy Review

Therapy Review: Stability. Forgiveness. Gratitude.

It was a packed session. We started off talking about what took place in the hospital yesterday. I was given news that should have made me happy but I can’t seem to trust it. I’m still ‘stage four’ Lupus with issues associated with my kidneys and vascular system but the medications are working very well […]

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Abuse I'm only human PTSD Siblings abused The People Behind My Eyes Therapy Review Women

Therapy Review: Hard Choices and Boundaries with Family

Dr. D and I discussed a situation with my sister that came up that required I stick to my boundaries, as hard as it is to do. Despite my mother having gainful employment, we spent a lot of time living in the car. I have slept with frost over me, slept on the wet street […]

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Dreams PTSD Siblings abused The People Behind My Eyes

Snoring. Dreaming of Flashbacks. Losing Mary Jane.

There’s something about having another living thing making noise that helps me feel less alone. Skip to 20 seconds for the start. His big performance is at 55 seconds. This is what Clyde does while doing his service dog duties of laying on my legs to help with the pain. He falls asleep and snores. […]

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Dreams PTSD Siblings abused The People Behind My Eyes Therapy Review

Therapy Review – Slaughtering Peace of Mind

I’ve tried to write this entry since Monday but I’ve run from it. I don’t really want to write it because it hurts. Therapy was hard, as usual. We went over the dream where the man was stabbed in the hallway. As I told Dr. D the part about hearing the man stabbed to death […]

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Dreams PTSD Siblings abused The People Behind My Eyes

Dream Therapy: Murder and Powerlessness 1

Entry Content: In some areas the dream was funny, strange and then ended violently. There is some sexual conversation, no abuse of children. Violent stabbing deaths. Mention of self injury. Dream: I was standing in line in a food court with two restaurants serving my favorite food on both sides, but I was in a […]

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Anxiety Dreams PTSD Siblings abused The People Behind My Eyes

Dream Therapy: Murder and Powerlessness 2

Feelings upon waking: Fearful. Fearful! I was trembling as my mind went over the crazy parts of this dramatic dream. After I woke I kept saying, ‘I’m sorry’ over and over again as if somehow dreaming something so violent was my fault. In addition to that guilt, there was guilt for not helping the man […]