African-American Rag Doll – Faith Magdalene's Sundrip

Slow Moving and Art Updates.

Posted on September 5, 2023September 5, 2023 by F.Magdalene

I woke around 9am but I didn’t get up until 1 pm. I just couldn’t get going.

Yesterday was a full day in that we went to Michael’s craft store, Hobby Lobby and Lowes. I got a sunflower stash at Michael’s, all 4 of the large sunflowers total $10. Score! I’m physically exhausted from that but it was great.

I’ve been trying to figure out why I’m so afraid to sleep. I’ve even wanted to sleep with the light on. I’m uneasy and even afraid at night. I have no reason to be. I’m not a kid anymore. I’m under my own roof. Yes, the fear is strong but it only lives in my head. It’s not based on 2023. The fear is from a few years past and when I was young.

I fear laying down flat and suffocating. I didn’t fear laying down flat until the 2018 events. Now I panic and can’t breathe.

For me, the most trauma is February 12th when it all happened. May 7th when they amputated my foot and August 25th when I moved into this apartment. It’s funny, I don’t remember the date of the thrombectomy. That’s the heavy duty surgery I did. So yeah, I’ve got some PTSD stuff going on right now.

It’s also noteworthy that I’ve been switching personalities a lot. Honestly, the only person who should be out with our caregiver is Jordan yet little ones, Joan and Maureen have been out, too. The anxiety levels are very different.

I love that she takes me places. I love that she hasn’t missed a day nor has she been late the whole 4 months she’s been here. We’ve clashed but we’ve not quit on each other. She flipped out once and said some horrible things. I hope she doesn’t believe what she said …….. We primarily get along well.

Today I want to isolate. I want baked goods and endless hours of tiktok. That’s what depression says I want. Well, I’m up now. The tea kettle is on. I’ll sip Earl Gray, change my clothes and fight a little bit.

One secure way to feel better is to reach out and do something for others. A friend that knows I’m struggling is sending an e-card, everyday, for a full month. If that sounds like a lot, the same cherished friend sent me a rose every day for 5 months I was in the hospital. She’s truly a gift. So, what can I do to help someone close to me? I’m going to make two small paintings, one for the person sending me e-cards and one for a different person I know is struggling.

I think I feel well enough now to set a few minor goals for today.

Dust while listening to my book
Clear off my art table
One of two small paintings / greeting cards
Get in a halfway decent meal

Hopefully I can get some more art in my Etsy shop. I’ve got two more on the way.

I’m itching to make dolls again, too. I purchased 3 skeins of yarn yesterday to use for the doll’s hair; plum, burnt orange and honey-flaxen blonde. I want to do the purple first. I keep seeing people with beautiful non-traditional hair colors so I got purple and orange for doll’s hair. I’ll see what my creative side can do with these colors.

Alright, after 2 cups of tea and some typing, I think I’m ready to do part two of today. I feel a little stronger.

Four things I’m grateful for today.

A friend is coming to help with my hospital bed that’s giving me the blues.
I feel a tad bit of motivation. I want to tap into it.
Galaxy Nebula projector that makes being in the dark a bit easier.
You 🙂 for taking the time to read this. Thank you 🙂

Faith

Remnants. Art. Seeing.

Posted on March 3, 2023March 3, 2023 by F.Magdalene

I’m getting ready to start physical therapy here at home to help some of the healing along due to recent falls. I’m pleased it’s at home. I told the doctor I’m not able to tolerate going to a center for physical therapy because of the setup. There’s too much public activity, noise, movement and touch, for me to be able to think straight and not panic.

The painting shown is still being worked on. It’s one of my collages, which I have found myself drawn to lately. I’ve got many pieces of this and that saved art piece that on their own doesn’t work but added to other cut outs, makes a great piece of art.

This is very indicative of how I’ve been feeling. In my head, I see myself as fractured and torn, both physically and mentally. It feels good to take the remnants of my art pieces (pieces of me) and make something good come out of the broken pieces. It’s similar to what the Japanese do when putting pieces of a broken bowl back together with gold. My goal is to improve self esteem. I also enjoy it.

General updates

Soon iI’ll know a decision from my insurance about a new Jazzy Pride electric wheelchair.
Joe just turned 14. It makes me a little nervous. His only issue is from the stroke. He doesn’t see as well.
Joe is still very much a service cat. He still alerts me to my blood pressure dropping too low.
I learned to make sour cream from my homemade yogurt. I’m growing my own ginger and turmeric inside. This growing season I’ll do spinach and salad greens with grow lights. The point of all this homemade stuff is to shave some off my grocery bill.
My OCD has been raging but I’ve been able to challenge it. Things go terribly if my thinking is too disordered and I’m overly stimulated. When that happens I have to go on an apology tour.
Dissociation and switching has occurred regularly, including switching while my nurse and CNA are here.
I’ve been able to paint as before with no real issues. There’s one painting in my Etsy shop.

Another physical change has taken place that affects my art. I can’t see! Dang it! I have to wear glasses to read or see anything in front of me, including my dinner plate. I can see far away, though. I need to see the eye doctor soon for prescription glasses. For now I’ve got bifocals from Amazon. I like them. Life is easier all around with bifocals.

Interesting is that it feels weird painting through glasses. It feels like I now have a physical barrier between me and what I’m creating. It feels like I’ve got my hands through the holes of a glass panel trying to paint or sew on the other side of the window.

Another new tool at home is this comfy Kaftan. I’m obsessed! I also like that I found an Etsy taylor with prettier dresses for the same price. I’m looking to get two more by this summer.

Kaftan’s are user friendly for disabled people with incontinence. I have spastic bladder as a result of the Thrombectomy surgery, which means I have to change depends several times a day. The last thing I want is to take my pants off several times a day because I need to change depends.

These dresses are fun and they are sooo me! I think I’m loving my Oprah glasses and Kaftans. I have one pink, white and green tie dye and one blue, gray, black and white tie dye. Totally me.

Faith / Joan

An environment that fosters creativity

Posted on August 23, 2022August 23, 2022 by F.Magdalene

It’s been a year since I finished a painting or started on a new doll but I feel like I’m at a place in my physical and emotional health to get to sewing again.

I look tired and I’ve got dark circles under my eyes but today was still a good day. This is the feeling that I lost with CNAs. Peace. I feel a measure of peace in my home again. I’m not emotionally healthy but I’ve still regained the peaceful, welcoming feeling in my home.

I believe one of the major blocks I had that kept me from creating much was the way I began to view the apartment. It started to feel more felt like a hospital than my home. Instead of feeling able and capable, I ended up in patient mode like in the hospital when I had no control over anything.

Another issue that I’m correcting is my lack of privacy. This efficiency apartment displays everything I own. I don’t like that so I made some changes to my furniture to gain more privacy. I honestly think when I’m better able to feel less on display and gain more peace at home that I’ll have taken a big step towards trusting my environment. When I feel I can trust again that is when some sort of painting will take place. Who knows what style of painting I’ll have. One should not have any expectations as to style.

Several times this week I came close to grabbing my sketch book but I couldn’t do it. The wall separating me from painting is weaker but still stands. Well, between surviving 2018 followed by Trumpism, Coronavirus, the recession, war and monkeypox, my ability to trust the moment got shattered. I’m happy to say it feels like I’m close to rebuilding an atmosphere conducive to creativity which includes sewing and painting. I’ve been working hard on building blocks so art can feel safe enough to happen.

I plan to be full swing into sewing even before the next ten days of bedrest ends. This will total 30 days on bed rest which has been torture.

In-home care is going very well. I feel secure with it. I know I’ll be able to have reliable help when I make messes. I also have two people to assist with getting items mailed out on time. I feel like I’ve done a lot of preparation….. and procrastination. lol

I’ve even narrowed down which days of the week I’m going to concentrate on sewing and days I’ll use for writing letters to elderly people. Basically I’m making sure I have what I need to succeed.

I refuse to make dolls in bed. I won’t lie, I’m up all the time. I’m going to steal an hour or so a few days a week and just return to bed after I’m done.

I’ve got back issues and a muscle spasm that stretches from the middle of my back all the way around to my navel. It feels like a belt. It’s stressing the bowel and bladder.

I’m on some strong meds and muscle relaxers 3x a day which means I’ll be sewing by hand at first. I don’t want a OUI – operating machinery under the influence of meds. lol Really though, I could get hurt so I’ll sew by hand until it’s safe enough to get on the machine.

You know what? My memory foam mattress remembers too much 🙂 Bed rest and memory foam are not friends. I’ve put an outline of my body in my memory foam mattress because of staying in it so long. lol…. I had to have my friend I call Mary Poppins aka Mary to turn my mattress around so I can put a body outline in the other side. lol Thank goodness it’s just a twin bed. It’s not terribly heavy to turn to the other side.

Anyway… as far as the type of dolls I’ll create, I’ve already got an idea in mind that I’d like to develop. The dolls will be sad dolls and some others will have body irregularities. One should not expect happy, wide eyed little girls, cause I don’t do those. I could only paint what was in my heart, it’s the same with sewing. I can’t relate to a grinning, happy, bubbly doll, but I can relate to and create dolls like Shiloh. She is a little soulful girl, full of emotion in her big brown eyes.

I’m nervous about sewing “sad dolls” because I’m not certain how they’ll go over in my Etsy shop. I made 3 a year ago or so. I sold one and kept two for myself.

While going through and sorting doll clothes I found a doll I thought I’d sold. This is Sweet Pea hanging out in a tree.

I don’t know what I originally named her but she has a new name since she’s staying with me.

She makes me smile with her rosy cheeks and her little shoes. I just adore her. She and Shiloh are part of my private collection.

I will have another doll update soon. Hopefully I can report that I’ve got everything cut out and that I’m started on sewing.

My Etsy shop is still closed for the time being, but you can visit the galleries here on Sundrip and you can purchase prints from my Redbubble shop.

Until soon,

Faith

Lola – Queen of Sorrows

Posted on January 25, 2021March 20, 2022 by F.Magdalene

She accurately represents how I feel often. I wish I could say that I’m okay and that life is good. I mean really, complaints should be few but in general I’m not a happy person.

I named her Lola because in some languages it means Our Lady of Sorrows. It seemed so appropriate.

Lola is my third handmade sad doll. I made her with real hair this time instead of yarn. I really like the look. Lola is in my personal collection and sits where I can see her each day.

Some have described her eyes as knowing and with a story to tell. I just think they look wide and sad, much like my eyes as a child.

I made Lola a little sister named Victoria aka Victory. She’s not a sad doll. As a matter of fact, she’s a doll that is at peace. She’s not grinning but she is full of life and innocent. Victory is also in my private collection.

Now comes Grace. Grace was to be the 4th sad doll but she ended up not looking so sad. I like little Grace.

I like her wine colored dress and the bow in her hair (not shown in the photo). She’s wearing a second-hand Gloria Vanderbilt dress. I couldn’t believe I found that little tiny dress. It’s just adorable. I added a small heart button and put the tiniest, little gold details on it, not much though. The dress is simple which is what I like about it. I added a small piece of gold hair jewelry to her long, braided, yarn hair. Little Grace will be going home with my new nurse’s aide next week.

So while I deal with some sadness and depression right now, I’m out here making dolls and doing my best to manage life.

Faith

Mariah the Flower Girl Handmade Bag Holder Doll

Posted on June 3, 2020 by F.Magdalene

Mariah is approximately 24 inches long in her sweat plaid, red dress and white ruffle bib accented with a red flower. In her textured yarn hair she wears one white flower.

Mariah’s golden brown skin was created with acrylic paint on cotton fabric. Her cheeks are rosy red and her eyes wide and beautiful.

If you’d like to adopt this sweet girl, please visit my Etsy shop at www.Sundrip.etsy.com.

Thank you for visiting SUNDRIP- Art for Life

Kamila the African American Handmade Bag Holder Doll

Posted on May 27, 2020March 20, 2022 by F.Magdalene

Kamila is about 23 inches long with shoulder length brown hair made of thin and thick yarn. The type of yarn used adds wonderful texture and depth to Kamila. The mocha color accents her beautiful brown eyes and skin.

What I love about Kamila is her dress. The maroon / rich burgundy dress, which leads down into a holder for bags, is a handmade garment accented by gold paisley embroidery. She wears the dress well.

The body of the doll is hand crafted and hand painted cotton fabric with poly fill. Your doll is a one of a kind, signed and tagged as a Sundrip doll.

NOTE : This doll is not meant to be a toy and includes small beads.

You may see Kamila in my Etsy shop along with other original dolls and original art at www.Sundrip.etsy.com.

Thank you for visiting SUNDRIP – Art for Life

Faith

Four New Dolls

Posted on May 6, 2020March 20, 2022 by F.Magdalene

This is work in progress. Four new dolls. Four new faces on the way in my Etsy shop.

This is what they look like before their skin is painted, eyes given life and hair sewn in. As you’ll notice, there are no legs. Why? Because these are bag holder dolls in progress not art dolls.

Below is a small gallery of dolls currently available for adoption in my Etsy shop at www.Sundrip.etsy.com .

I’m in love with doll making and have currently thrown my energy into them. For a little while I thought I was finished creating them but the drive is quite strong right now so I will continue to sew, paint and present. I hope you like them.

Faith

Delilah African American Handmade Doll

Posted on May 4, 2020March 20, 2022 by F.Magdalene

Delilah doll is about 17.5 inches long and is sweet and lovable with her bright, beautiful brown eyes. Her blue flower dress is made of cotton and her hair is dark brown textured yarn, hanging long.
Delilah is an art doll made of hand painted cotton fabric.

NOTE : This doll is not meant to be a toy. She is a shelf sitter.

What soft, expressive eyes.

You may visit her in my Etsy shop atÂ www.Sundrip.etsy.com where more photos are available. ** SOLD **

Thank you for visiting SUNDRIP – Art for Life

Faith

Sew Many Dolls

Posted on April 16, 2020 by F.Magdalene

I pulled out the needle and thread, stacked fabric and stuffing and began to sew. Two days later I had three bodies ready to be painted.

The dolls are nowhere near finished. They need so many details: paint as skin tone, painted faced, hair that’s hand sewn in, earrings, clothes and socks. All of that has to be done by hand which puts these dolls about two weeks from being finished.

I love the work. There’s something very soothing about sewing by hand. I truly love it.

I’ve currently got three dolls in my Etsy shop looking for a permanent home.

Check them out at www.sundrip.etsy.com.

Thanks for visiting Sundrip,

Faith

Annette the African American Bag Holder Rag Doll

Posted on January 9, 2020 by F.Magdalene

I’m happy to have finished her. It feels really good.

Here she is in her handmade dress which is upcycled from a handmade Indian blouse with beautiful beaded details in red, gold and blue.

Annette is approximately 35 inches long. Her hair is made of beautiful, textured yarn that looks great in a ponytail or piled in a bun. Her earrings are red flowers which accents her rosie lipstick.