Lupus The People Behind My Eyes

Managing My Raynaud’s Symptoms

I hate Raynaud’s. Raynaud’s is one of those tag along syndromes of chronic illnesses such as Lupus, Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, CRSD, and Fibromyalgia. My hands and toes get so cold it feels as though they’re frost bitten. The day I knew my life sucked was when I had a hot flash during a Raynaud’s flare. My hands […]

I'm only human Life is like a box of Lupus The People Behind My Eyes

Cold with Kitty. Diagnosis Shuffle.

I guess it was inevitable. I showed up to the hospital, a building full of sick people, and caught some sort of bug. I’m hanging out at home with the cat. Jane sits and watches TV. I want to tell her, “don’t sit so close, it’ll destroy your eyes”. Besides, I can’t see around her […]

Lupus PTSD The People Behind My Eyes

Physical Therapy Switch Up

I still got the WWE Smackdown headlock treatment but this time she put a pillow between her body and mine. It worked out well. Since she has a great since of humor. I shared with her the unpleasantness of having a breast in the ear. Some may disagree but it isn’t my idea of a […]

Abuse Anxiety Chronic Pain Lupus Multiple Personality Disorder PTSD The People Behind My Eyes

Physical therapy or WWE Smack down?

I’m on my back in some sort of headlock aka neck stretch, thinking to myself, does she even know her breast is in my ear? I could all but hear her heart beat. It makes me wonder, are they aware of how much contact they have with the patient? All I had to do to […]

Abuse Chronic Pain Lupus PTSD The People Behind My Eyes

PT – Neurological Dysregulation Syndrome

One person’s physical therapy is another person’s torture technique. PT Black says my neurological system is all out of whack and that it responds to pain even when there isn’t sufficient pressure applied. Yeah, I know that. So, she said she wanted to try something she called ‘sensitizing’. It’s essentially what we do in psychotherapy where […]

Lupus Multiple Personality Disorder PTSD The People Behind My Eyes

Physical Therapy – Black. Spine. DID.

I give everyone I talk about a nickname on the blog. The new physical therapist’s name is Black. The last one was Buttons this one is named Black. I used to have one named Piper. When she came here I wanted to believe that she could help with the pain level. I pictured her playing a flute, […]

Anxiety Art Digital Art Faces PTSD The People Behind My Eyes Women of Strength

confetti of ignorance and the resulting freedom

one thing has come out of this betty explosion with its confetti of ignorance, and that is freedom. if i desire to wear a headdress, I wear it. if i desire to include an african scarf to my clothing then i do it. it’s partly rebellion due to her profound ignorance and partly the need to […]

Life is like a box of The People Behind My Eyes

Lazy, Lazy, Lazy

The waters are untroubled. I’ve got nothing to report, really. I’ve been hanging around the house, still in pj bottoms. My hair is unkempt. I’m rockin’ homeless style dreads right now. Gotta do something about that soon or people might walk up to me and give me money….. that’s an idea.. let my dreads get really bad […]

Anxiety Life is like a box of Lupus Multiple Personality Disorder PTSD The People Behind My Eyes

Face Turned Down. Physical Therapy Woes

June 21st, 2016 11:56 pm EST My face is turned down, I can feel it. The sides of my mouth feel tugged towards the floor with little or no resistance. Thirty minutes ago my stress level was too high. I started talking myself down. Relax. Everything you need is right here, you just need to […]

Anxiety Chronic Pain I'm only human Lupus Multiple Personality Disorder PTSD The People Behind My Eyes

The Good

I’m still in physical therapy. I switched personalities while in the waiting room. A man disciplined his child with one swat to the butt. A woman who was not with that group, turned to her daughter and said; ‘You know you better not speak to me that way. I’d get a switch and beat your ankles’. Even after […]