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Chronic Pain Lupus PTSD The People Behind My Eyes

You don’t look sick

I get that a lot. As a matter of fact, the new CNA, the one I like quite a bit, said I look like I could get out of the chair and start walking. She said I look perfectly healthy. I’m beginning to be ok with such nonsense. I can’t get upset with people for […]

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Anxiety The People Behind My Eyes

Music and Emotional Spoons

I hardly ever do this anymore. It’s been months since I turned on music for myself. Music is emotional for me, anxiety provoking. I feel so deeply with it that it’s often uncomfortable. But this time I turned it on, lay on the bed and took it all in. I don’t know. It seems significant […]

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African-American Rag Doll Art Originals Rag Doll

Kitty. Frog. Doll.

It’s been so quiet at home. A few times I sat in the quiet feeling deep peace and satisfaction but other times I wanted to curl up in a ball having been overtaken by emotional pain. It seems life is at fifty – fifty right now. I’m still with the old CNA company because I’m […]

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Art

Thin skin

Thin skinned, if any skin at all. I really want to cry. I don’t get it. I guess I do in a way. The dolls can be controversial. Will I crumble each time a negative comment comes in or a negative emoji is placed beside a Black Folk Art doll? Am I really going to […]

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Art

Therapy Review – Fitting in

We talked about the fight I have with feeling inherently bad. When I found out that I have a blood condition it seemed to confirm that I’m bad through out. That even what runs through my veins is bad. It took a minute to adjust my thinking and conclude that I was replaying one of […]

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Art

Flexibility. Poor Attitudes. Blessings.

I’m not flexible. I try to be but I’m not. Change has never been something I could deal with well. My mind all but rejects the idea of change as if it were a disease. My mother used to tease me saying she was going to change the color of her hair. Oh the idea […]