I woke this morning to find the Green Tree Frog dead. I called the company I got him from and told them about it. She’s going to order me another Chubby Frog instead. I wonder though, will two males fight? This is a male, for certain, this little plump thing is male. In photos his eyes […]
Month: August 2017
Content: Discussion of child torture and sexual abuse, the affects of emotional abuse, feeling hated during violent abuse, dental appointment Yesterday the dentist used a very triggering phrase, ‘open your mouth wide and keep it open.’ I did but I couldn’t keep my head together. I just lost it. I was in the chair feeling so […]
Content: Discussion of child torture and sexual abuse, the affects of emotional abuse, feeling hated during violent abuse, dental appointment I just thought, I was taught to hate me. I was taught that I don’t deserve mercy, so when I think of myself as a child, I feel the contempt that burned beside the torture. […]
I went to the dentist today. It was to be the last appointment for six months but there was a trauma issue and I couldn’t continue. Despite a lot of nitric oxide, I had a panic attack. My body was shaking, I was hyperventilating, crying. One of the employees there came over to me and […]
I turned 46 today. I’m not bothered by the age but my heart still desires what it can’t have, family connection. Birthday’s anymore are difficult. On this day, I feel the ache of not having family to grow old with. Dr. D and I discussed what it would be like if I had any of […]
As I understand it, there has been an increase in reports of emotional triggers caused by the active abuser known as the 45th President of the United States. His inauguration has increased the stress level of people with depression as well as survivors of abuse. Why? Because his narcissism, public shaming, paranoia and threats, mirror […]
Content: Physical abuse and torture. It took a bit for Robert to come out and talk to Dr. D. Robert and a little one kept switching places while trying to give away some of the details of what we went through. Robert: I did all the hard stuff. Dr. D: What do you mean? Robert: […]
The first stuff is that Mary Jane hasn’t been well for nearly three weeks. She stays in the same spot in the corner. She still eats, drinks and uses the restroom but she is doesn’t play or come to visit me in the room. I hope beyond anything that she’s just hot. She’s wearing a […]
I’ve sworn off photos but I stare at the ones burned in my mind as if they will come alive and hand feed me spoonfuls of hope and blind desire for you to see the tiny light in my eyes that beckons your heart. Let me penetrate. Let me enchant the strings of your million […]
A phrase went through my head this morning that tells me that my instincts about the GP I saw yesterday are correct. I need to move on. She’s not the one. I’m writing things down so I can remember the entire experience. This morning I remembered that while talking about me taking pain meds from […]