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Life is like a box of The People Behind My Eyes

Asian Painted Bullfrog. Dollhouse Update.

I woke this morning to find the Green Tree Frog dead. I called the company I got him from and told them about it. She’s going to order me another Chubby Frog instead. I wonder though, will two males fight? This is a male, for certain, this little plump thing is male. In photos his eyes […]

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Abuse Anxiety Art therapy PTSD The People Behind My Eyes

Taking off her mask. The branded child.

Content: Discussion of child torture and sexual abuse, the affects of emotional abuse, feeling hated during violent abuse, dental appointment Yesterday the dentist used a very triggering phrase, ‘open your mouth wide and keep it open.’ I did but I couldn’t keep my head together. I just lost it. I was in the chair feeling so […]

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Abuse Anxiety Art Art therapy PTSD Surreal The People Behind My Eyes Visionary

Taking off her mask. Who will she be?

Content: Discussion of child torture and sexual abuse, the affects of emotional abuse, feeling hated during violent abuse, dental appointment I just thought, I was taught to hate me. I was taught that I don’t deserve mercy, so when I think of myself as a child, I feel the contempt that burned beside the torture. […]

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Abuse Anxiety PTSD The People Behind My Eyes

The Dentist and PTSD

I went to the dentist today. It was to be the last appointment for six months but there was a trauma issue and I couldn’t continue. Despite a lot of nitric oxide, I had a panic attack. My body was shaking, I was  hyperventilating, crying. One of the employees there came over to me and […]

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Anxiety PTSD Siblings abused The People Behind My Eyes Therapy Review Tree Art

Therapy Review: Skinned. Let her go.

I turned 46 today. I’m not bothered by the age but my heart still desires what it can’t have, family connection. Birthday’s anymore are difficult. On this day, I feel the ache of not having family to grow old with. Dr. D and I discussed what it would be like if I had any of […]

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Abuse Anxiety Art therapy Ink Major Depression Originals PTSD Siblings abused Sketchbook diary Therapy Review

The Mental Health Toll of President Donald Trump

As I understand it, there has been an increase in reports of emotional triggers caused by the active abuser known as the 45th President of the United States. His inauguration has increased the stress level of people with depression as well as survivors of abuse. Why? Because his narcissism, public shaming, paranoia and threats, mirror […]

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Abuse Art Art therapy Multiple Personality Disorder Originals PTSD Sketchbook diary The People Behind My Eyes Therapy Review

Therapy Review: Abuse to the Face

Content: Physical abuse and torture. It took a bit for Robert to come out and talk to Dr. D. Robert and a little one kept switching places while trying to give away some of the details of what we went through. Robert: I did all the hard stuff. Dr. D: What do you mean? Robert: […]

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The People Behind My Eyes

Frogs. Leaves. Purr. Building Up.

The first stuff is that Mary Jane hasn’t been well for nearly three weeks. She stays in the same spot in the corner. She still eats, drinks and uses the restroom but she is doesn’t play or come to visit me in the room. I hope beyond anything that she’s just hot. She’s wearing a […]

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Anxiety Creative Writing PTSD Siblings abused The People Behind My Eyes

Letting Her Go

I’ve sworn off photos but I stare at the ones burned in my mind as if they will come alive and hand feed me spoonfuls of hope and blind desire for you to see the tiny light in my eyes that beckons your heart. Let me penetrate. Let me enchant the strings of your million […]

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(CRSD) Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy Anxiety Chronic Pain The People Behind My Eyes

My instincts are correct

A phrase went through my head this morning that tells me that my instincts about the GP I saw yesterday are correct. I need to move on. She’s not the one. I’m writing things down so I can remember the entire experience. This morning I remembered that while talking about me taking pain meds from […]