Chronic Pain I'm only human Lupus Multiple Personality Disorder The People Behind My Eyes Therapy Review

Therapy Review – Reassurance. Normality. Lonely

Walk with Me 8:05 am I didn’t make it in to see Dr D because I wasn’t physically able to travel. I asked him if he’s getting frustrated or worried that things aren’t the way they were. For years I saw him twice a week in his office. I now make it in once or […]

Anxiety Chronic Pain Lupus Major Depression Multiple Personality Disorder PTSD The People Behind My Eyes

On Everything and Nothing

I had a dream you were real. I saw you standing beside the dresser. You kept that spot. Your tears were as razors sliding slowly down my spine. To my amazement, you  cried for me. I was too heavy with sleep and admittedly afraid to look you in the eye. I know that dress. I […]

Artists Thoughts

Just a moment

I need a minute to gather myself. I need to get some things on this website fixed and update galleries. This includes scanning new art. No more poetry blogs for a few days. I’m going to miss out on art journal pages, dinner for one, awesome photos of insects and comics. In addition to the […]

Abuse Anxiety PTSD The People Behind My Eyes

What if I’m fat, ugly and stupid? Pt1

Snow and I talked a little about my therapy session on emotional abuse of self. The woman I see as elegant talks down to herself. Her husband So-and-so is quick to say, “Would you stop abusing my wife!” I know self abuse is as common as other types of abuse. I personally feel self abuse […]

PTSD The People Behind My Eyes

What if I’m fat, ugly and stupid? Pt2

What if all the things I say to myself are true? If I am fat, ugly and stupid, how would having this information change my life? Should ugly stupid people expect less out of life? Is it ok to smack a less attractive person as opposed to an attractive one? When I leave the house […]

Life is like a box of The People Behind My Eyes

The New Guy. The Wedding. “Boil the Bunny”

After services I headed for the door to go home. When I turned around there was a young man less than half my age standing there looking around the Hall. I introduced myself and we began chatting. Out of the blue,… totally random, not pertaining to anything we discussed… he said, “I have depression.” With […]

Anxiety The People Behind My Eyes

I’m Just Talking

It’s Nisan 14, the greatest day of the year. I went to services that started after sundown. It was difficult because my pain levels were so high but there was no way on earth I wanted to miss it. I used to think that having a portrait of your pet was silly but I look […]

Artists Thoughts Experimental design PTSD Siblings abused The People Behind My Eyes Therapy Review

Therapy Review – Emotional Support. Siblings. Art.

12:45pm We had a packed therapy session with Morton in front most of the time. Current feelings Nervous. Lonely. Worried. Tired. 4:17pm I slept after therapy until 2:45pm. I’m pretty tired these days. In therapy we discussed the need to be emotionally supportive instead of abusing myself emotionally. I can support myself emotionally by being […]

The People Behind My Eyes

Maharaja Chai – Experimenting with Ingredients

I will never purchase tea for $80 a pound which is what Teavana asks for Maharaja® Chai. However, I will use culinary skills and known ingredients to come as close as possible to the over priced tea. Maharaja® Chai/Samurai Chai Tea Blend Known Ingredients: Green maté, cinnamon, oolong tea, green rooibos, ginger pieces, carob pieces, […]

I'm only human Lupus The People Behind My Eyes

Closing the Gap Between Emotions and Reality

The task was put to me to take a photo of myself monthly. By doing so I could see what I really look like as opposed to how I think I look. I feel like a slob. I feel disgusting and embarrassed to be seen. I feel ugly. Any compliment goes in one ear and […]