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Abstract Art Art Artists Thoughts Experimental design Nature and People Originals Paintings Paper Sketchbook diary

Art for art’s sake

I changed my tea painting and added a short quote. I couldn’t help myself. I like it better this way. I think it would look great in an all white frame but there wasn’t one on the framing program used. “Where there’s tea there’s hope” is a small painting of 4 inches by 6 inches. It’s […]

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Abuse Art therapy Faces PTSD Siblings abused Sketchbook diary The People Behind My Eyes Tree Art

Wide

She had a wide range of peculiarities but one constant; her mouth was always wide open. Her violence frightened me as a child. The fact that she’s still alive makes me a bit uncomfortable. The woman with the split earlobe laughed loudly, sang loudly, slapped you on the back while laughing and did everything over […]

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(CRSD) Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy Abuse Chronic Pain I'm only human The People Behind My Eyes

Neurology appointment. I’m not a soldier.

He said I’m just a ball of pain and that I need to stop blowing steam at him. I stopped, looked at him and said, Did you just tell me to stop telling you I’m in pain. He said, yes, because its nonsense. Then he said, “I’m just telling it like it is. I shoot […]

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ART GALLERY Life is like a box of Media Nature and People Originals Paintings Paper Sunflowers The People Behind My Eyes

Tea. Pie. Gratitude.

I did it. I went to meet with the two people I’ll write letters with for the winter project. It went very well. I had sweet potato pie and Kenyan tea. I didn’t drop a tear, didn’t show anxiety too much. We discussed topics to include in the letters and how to address some of […]

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Acrylic and Ink Art Expressionsim Major Depression Originals Paper Sketchbook diary The People Behind My Eyes Therapy Review

Therapy Review: Feeling Black Hoping for Light

We talked about feeling depressed in a different way than what I’m used to feeling. There’s an underlying feeling of not caring about anything and just wanting someone to take out of my stomach whatever it is that’s eating me alive. I’m so tired right now I can’t see straight. Sleep didn’t come easily. He […]

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Anxiety Major Depression The People Behind My Eyes

I Don’t Know What’s Wrong With Me

I’ve done what I’m supposed to do, that should feel good. I don’t feel good. I’m still creating. Some get finished, other’s lack substance and I lose interest. Today I made a third doll for donations (pics eventually) and a hat for myself. Right in the middle of studying I had a full blown panic […]

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The People Behind My Eyes

Still Walking

We played ball and took advantage of the weather. The little spot in this photo is Clyde running and chewing a tennis ball. The ball didn’t make it. It was chewed to nothing, but that’s okay ’cause we had a lot of fun. We both came home quite happy with ourselves. While there I thought […]

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(CRSD) Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy Lupus Major Depression The People Behind My Eyes

Okay with not being okay

There has been a lot of sleep today but since it was nearly 60 degrees I decided to take a walk with Clyde. We did 4.5 blocks one way and 4.5 blocks back which is only about a half block longer than usual. Perhaps we would have made it the full 5 blocks had we […]

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(CRSD) Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy Anxiety Chronic Pain I'm only human PTSD The People Behind My Eyes

Comfort Before a Crash

I should call this entry, the big baby has pizza and now she’s happy. It’s comfort food. Pizza is my comfort food. It’s in the oven now, bubbling with my herb blend, fresh garlic, three cheeses and two meats in a cast iron skillet. I’m gonna slice up a huge portion of self soothing. Also […]

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(CRSD) Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy Chronic Pain Lupus PTSD The People Behind My Eyes

Difficult days. Killers and mothers. A mess of topics.

It’s been difficult physically and emotionally over this way. I’m struggling to keep sanity it feels like. I feel like I’m on the edge of it. Between my body and nightmares, I’m just exhausted. I’m hungry. There’s plenty of food to eat but nothing I really want. I just want to sleep off the yuck. […]