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Chronic Pain The People Behind My Eyes

Ablation Surgery Scheduled

I found out today that my surgery is Friday November 13th. I thought it was going to be sooner but nope. November 13th will be here before I know it! Before then I have pre-op appointments, including a COVID 19 test to be taken. The surgery is a uterine ablation. It’s short, sweet and is […]

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(CRSD) Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy Chronic Pain Lupus PTSD The People Behind My Eyes

Therapy Review : Pain. Ablation. Joe

I’m quite close to chucking it all and heading to the emergency room for a shot of whatever that was they gave me the last time I was there. It’s been a week of high pain and vomiting. I hoped I’d last until it’s time for the ablation but I can’t stand it. Not only […]

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Artists Thoughts Chronic Pain I'm only human Lupus PTSD The People Behind My Eyes Therapy Review

Halfway Normal

I never know when I’m going to feel well enough to get out of bed. Three days in and I wondered if there would be a fourth, but today I feel halfway normal. Usually I don’t know if I’m going to be able to stand being alive because the pain is so bad, but then […]

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Chronic Pain Lupus The People Behind My Eyes

Pain and Fatigue

I’m flat on my back right now and have been for 2 days. My pain levels are quite high with relief coming by way of fatigue. I sleep like I’ve taken some kind of medication, though I’ve not. My neck is the main culprit with shoulders close behind. I’ve been doing stretches in my waking […]

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(CRSD) Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy Artists Thoughts Chronic Pain Lupus Self Portrait The People Behind My Eyes

Therapy Review : Acceptance. Art Flame

Content : Brief suicide check in. Explaining myself, memories. Acceptance. Pain. So I walked into the building and my pain level rose to a nine out of ten. From the knee down on both sides it hurt like all get out. I told Dr D that I worry I eventually won’t be able to walk […]

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Anxiety Chronic Pain Lupus PTSD The People Behind My Eyes

Sunflowers for the Weary

A friend of mine came over and brought fried chicken and a bouquet of sunflowers. It was too sweet. We sat and talked while I ate. I was hesitant to talk about health stuff because I didn’t want to depress her. It was a very nice visit though. Yesterday after I blogged, I went ahead […]

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Art

Back to CBD

I’ve been so sick that I’ve not been eating much. I’ve wasted a lot of food because I was in too much pain and didn’t want eat, and it spoiled. So I made a decision, take the wasted grocery money and buy CBD oil again. I hadn’t been able to afford it at $50 for […]

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(CRSD) Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy Chronic Pain Lupus PTSD The People Behind My Eyes

Where?

Where are my coping skills? Where is my ability to handle my health issues? I wish I could say I am emotionally better than the last time I was in the hospital but I’m not. I’m just as shocked and stunned asking, is this really my life? Seriously, they were going to take the rest […]

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Chronic Pain Lupus PTSD The People Behind My Eyes

Emotional Exhaustion

It’s nearly 11pm. I’m still up thinking. I feel so desperate and depleted and tattered. Yes, I’m relieved I don’t have to do another surgery and I’m relieved that there’s no bone infection, but I’m also exhausted from the fight. Exhausted from keeping my head up as I tread the waters of chronic illness and […]

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(CRSD) Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy Chronic Pain Lupus The People Behind My Eyes

No Osteomyelitis. Chronic illness is expensive.

I was tested twice more and the final answer is no. I don’t have a bone infection. No Osteomyelitis. The infection from the ulcer reached deep, but the bone wasn’t infected at all. I’m in the clear on that one. Also, after 2 months and much fuss, the ulcer is nearly gone. I’m not even […]