Chronic pain – Faith Magdalene's Sundrip

I paid a heavy price in pain for a little bit of freedom from my wheelchair. I decided to walk about 100 feet up a ramp to my apartment. I needed to stand up at my normal 5 foot 3, and see the world from the angle I was accustom to.

The problem with walking outside is that I can’t feel the ground under me. With shoes on, I can’t feel the ground. It takes a lot of concentration. But today I needed freedom. I swear I feel like a caged animal willing to pay a high price to have someone open my cage and let me out.

The price I paid for about 100 feet is extreme pain in both hips. Both hips have avascular necrosis. I’m having terrible spasms. All of this just to stand up and walk for a little bit.

Was it worth the cost? Yes, for a few moments, walking in the sun, yeah it was worth this.

I’m in bed right now willing a slice of pizza hut over here. Lol It’s in the kitchen. Lol. But I’m writhing in pain. My legs hurt so badly, they’re squirming all over the bed down there. The pain is from the ankle up to the knee then both hips. I really want that pizza though lol.

My little walk reminds me very much of my little painting called Up Hill Battle. I guess sometimes the hill seems small to others but that doesn’t mean it’s not a battle for the person trying to climb it. We never know how much baggage a person is carrying, mental or physical pain. Even the slightest incline can be a struggle when the person walking is carrying a heavy load.

The miniature is complete. I gave it a nice seal yesterday. My intent is to have it in my shop this evening. If you don’t have an Etsy shop but there’s interest, you can send me an email. I accept PayPal. All contact info is on the sidebar.

I’ve been craving pizza for days. I really want that pizza in the kitchen but the price is a little high for me to get up and get it. I’ll use patience. I’ll rest then have pizza later.

It was still a nice day. I love outing day 🙂 Please let this CNA stay. I adore her.

Faith

While learning to live in a COVID world, I’ve begun to venture out and meet new people. I met a woman who was in the segregated south and was living in the thick of historic moments many only read about.

I’m grateful for the loyal love and patience shown to me at this pivotal moment in my life.

My friends love me enough to want to rescue me. They love me enough not to, but to instead walk with me or offer guidance.

I’m grateful for personal acupuncture and vagus nerve therapies. Some of the therapies associated with my ears have stopped panic attacks within one minute. I wear an adjustable helix or daith cuff (ear cuff) to assist with pain management.

I purchased a Trigger Point Stimulator Tool which I highly recommend. It’s been helpful in relaxing neck and side muscles. Sciatica be gone! The one I purchased explains that there are “two crystals inside will create a small electrical stimulus that mimics acupuncture and helps release trapped energy.”

I have enjoyed more peace of mind as of late than I have in a long time. Peace of mind and happiness are not a constant state of being, instead an accumulation of moments.

I’m grateful for plants. I so love plants! They help me focus my thoughts and do something positive with my anxious energy.

Joe has turned out to be a wonderful service animal. I had to look it up if cats can detect and alert illness because it sounds so strange but, three times Joe has loudly demanded that I wake up.

The other day was the 3rd time he insisted loudly, with screeching, that I wake up. I knew what he was doing so I sat on the edge of the bed. I used my rescue inhaler then took all my vitals.

Long story short, he woke me while I was having an asthma attack with terribly low blood pressure and very fast heart rate. When my sitting heart rate went above 106, Joe began to alert me with that horrible screech.

To prevent me from going anywhere, Joe parked himself behind the wheel of the wheelchair and refused to move. He was clearly focused on me with huge, huge pupils.

When I had to use the restroom I carefully got in the chair. Joe walked beside the chair all the way to the restroom as if he was escorting me. Maybe an hour later I was so tired that I had to sleep. I felt comfortable sleeping bc Joe was watching over me.