I NEED to paint. I don’t just want to, I NEED to paint as much as I need to breath and eat, I NEED to paint. I’ve got something in my heart that needs to be let go, needs to be on canvas or paper or cloth, anything. I can’t do it until Wednesday though…….
When it gets like this, when it stirs in my chest like a storm, it nearly hurts until finally paint is put down.
I can’t say it’ll be a painting I post. I’m just expressing that sometimes there is a desire that turns to force until I can’t take it anymore and I have to get whatever it is in my head and heart out. Get it out.
It’s an emotion.
It feels intense. It feels overwhelming.
My situation isn’t so that I can paint at the moment, but in a few days I can and will. I have almost a panicked feeling because I need to get whatever this is out of me. Panic to paint. I felt this way before this minor life interruption. Urgency.
I wonder, worry that when I am able to paint again if I’ll be shut up, closed off because of having carried this ? for too long without letting it go. argh! I don’t know what it is. I don’t know why the urgency, but its there. I hope for relief and soon. Funny how much I’ve come to depend on art as therapy, as a way to relieve and free myself.