Category: I’m only human

By Virtue of Him

Posted on by F.Magdalene

Let her keep looking toward the light that shines before her. She will be imparted power by virtue of Him.

By Virtue of Him

Art Title: “By Virtue of Him”
Art by: Faith Magdalene Austin
Size: 6.5 x 4.5
Media: Acrylic on cardstock

The small painting shows a young woman with her back to the dark and her body affected by it. She is still dressed in white, still looking upward for direction and hope. A light of white shines on her. Her hands come right through the color and darkness, leaving them open to hope.

In the partial finger painting you’ll see layers of color and rich texture. Cranberry, midnight blue, vivid green, royal purple, gold and black make up the painting called “By Virtue of Him.” The art is based on the Scripture at Philippians 4:13. It is my first overtly religious titled and purposed art on Sundrip.

Thanks for visiting me today,

Faith

Dec 6 , 2017

Therapy Review: Permission to Speak

Posted on by F.Magdalene

Holding out for MoreI saw my psychiatrist today. We talked about the suicidal feelings. She asked if I feel suicidal at the Kingdom Hall. I said no, I feel like I can make it one more day. She and my psychologist suggested I stick close to the brothers and sisters. but especially try my best to be there in person.

I know my attitude stinks. I’ve got to pray much more about that……

Dr. D and I are taking on an art project where I let my body speak. Often I form experiences and emotions on canvas but they’re from my head. They’re all but photographs of my mind at that time. The rather large therapy painting will be a painting where body expresses itself as it goes through medical changes.

Imagine not speaking the language of anyone around you. Pictures are all you’ve got to tell how you experience the world, the world where there is only one person, one physical being. Now that body has to try and free itself of silence so that bitterness is released. It needs to speak and I can tell and I have a feeling this assignment will be very emotional, humbling and beneficial. I think I’ll have a sense of freedom. I think it’ll give me relief.

A moment of self talk

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The Master of My Ghosts

Posted on by F.Magdalene

There’s an old, half blind dog lying on the porch. That old dog is me.
.

His daytime howl is common, almost a fixture in his home. He growls at shadows and charges falling, dry leaves as though they were a personal attack on himself and the dilapidated house he protects.

He can hardly see. He doesn’t hear clearly or process like others. This old dog with half an ear and legs born lame, feels so far removed from a living thing that even the softest touch can in an instant turn from intimacy to biting distrust.

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A Month of Strings 1

Posted on by F.Magdalene

This may look familiar. I’ve had it forever. “The Tin Man”. He also reminds me of a puppet on strings and the need for freedom. From what?

Tin Man - is still available
Tin Man – Available

From the things that wrap around pnd me. I feel tangled. I feel lost, pulled in several different directions, floating above unstable ground. MY HEART IS BROKEN and I can’t seem to make it stop hurting.

Go here and get twisted around so you’ll feel better and, less pain.

Go here and for this doctor’s magic.

I just want to see my therapist again. I want to remember his face. I saw him in person today but he was so blurry. I couldn’t see him.

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A Month of Strings 2

Posted on by F.Magdalene

I’m still trying to come to terms with the health scare.

Patience - unavailable
Patience – unavailable

I micromanaged every move for fear it would be my last. I thought about a journal I’ve lost touch with, a girl who wrote about the “indignity of death.” How is she? Where is she? I cleaned my room because no one should have to clean it up. I started to take out the trash but I was tired. Then I thought, if I won’t be here tomorrow I should turn off the heat, ya know? I thought about doing my hair then realized it wouldn’t matter. I never thought, I need to throw away this or that so no one finds it.

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