Category: The People Behind My Eyes

Saturday is moving day

Posted on by F.Magdalene

I got the apartment and move in Saturday! I already have the keys and lease.
I’m excited and a bit nervous, mostly excited. I have to figure out how to fit my stuff in this place. One thing I know is I’ll have a 55 gallon aquarium in there! Somehow, some way, that aquarium WILL fit. I’m going to split it in half, half bedroom, half art studio w tea bar. I’ll keep the doll collection in the bedroom area. I’m sure my little studio will feel like home in no time.

To save energy, I’m buying stuff from Amazon.com and Walmart.com. It’ll be easier that way. I’m thinking of having them deliver a much needed recline. And there’s the cutest bamboo shelf that will display my teas. I’m so excited about that.

In addition to moving, I’ve been painting my head off.

My sketchbook is full of art and art therapy….. at this point I believe for me, art is deeply healing and therapeutic. There’s a flood of artistic expression recorded primarily in watercolor like the one shown. As soon as I get the studio set up to scan,, I’ll update my etsy shop with new art. The good news is my shop is still active while waiting for updates. www.sundrip.etsy.com

Tomorrow I go to the doctor to get fitted for the prosthetics. We’ll see how it goes.

For the apartment I’m getting something extra special for my wall. It’s a decal Scripture that says:
Do not be afraid, for I am with you.
Do not be anxious, for I am your God.
I will fortify you, yes, I will help you,
I will really hold on to you with my right hand of righteousness.’ Isaiah 41:10

Faith

Enduring the Days

Posted on by F.Magdalene

Snapshot fma
Snapshot

The last few days have been torture. I hurt from the top of my head to the soles of my feet. The amputation site is having an electric storm of shock and neuropathy. It’s been a bad few days and I’ve done very little reaching out. I’ve just been waiting for medication time!

The foot that was amputated coincidentally was the foot with Chronic Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy. Though amputated for other reasons, I hoped the RSD fire and pain would stop, it didn’t and won’t. It doesn’t work that way. Continue reading “Enduring the Days”

The Brave Face

Posted on by F.Magdalene

I’m not brave. I’m not. I’m not rolling with the punches, I’m just getting punched. As I said, I’ve walked through the fire and I’m all burned up. I’m skinny, starving for a moment of real rest, of relief.

“The surgeon” will see me one more time in 3 months then that’s it. Really?! That’s all? You take my toes, wham bam thank you ma’am, I wash my hands of you? That’s how this works? And I’m just supposed to go on too, business as usual?

This is the second time he’s asked me to paint him something. So I will get a canvas and paint every tear I’ve sobbed! I’ll paint the times I covered my face and rocked back and forth in shock, “Oh my God!” so I can’t see what other trauma is next. I just cover my face and rock.

He gave me a script for an insert that will allow me to wear whatever shoes I want. He said to get a good brand of cocoa butter for my foot and the scars so the black scars will fade. I’ll buy new Chuck Taylor shoes after the insert gets here. I’ll walk around with no outward knowledge that anything is missing. I’ll limp but people won’t know why.

I will paint “the surgeon” a piece of this entire experience from fear to anguish to anger, loneliness and even gratitude. He’s going to get a painting of trauma because that’s what’s left in the wake.

Jordan

The Surgeon Who Stole My Toes

Posted on by F.Magdalene
Stone and Shadows
Stone and Shadows

I see “the surgeon” tomorrow, the one who amputated my toes. I wonder what kind of person it takes to look at a foot rotted black, take a saw and hack off a body part to be thrown away? What allows his mind to go there and his hands to follow? Though beyond repair, black as night, shriveled to nothing and dry, they were still mine.

My heart knows 100% that this surgeon was one who helped save my life, mine and many others. He is loved and honored, rightfully put on a pedestal. He has taken people with slim odds and brought them back from the brink. In my heart I see him that way, but behind my eyes I see the man who methodically removed part of me and threw me away.

Faith Austin

Rise!

Posted on by F.Magdalene

Rise
Bright watercolor and colored pencil.
8.5 x 5.5 inches
98lb paper

This is what hope looks like. It’s hands raised and face to the sun. Flowers in full bloom and shoulders light.

Faith Austin
Sundrip

The Lesson

Posted on by F.Magdalene

The Lesson is an art story about the doctor telling me about my blood system. He explained that something about my DNA steers my blood wrong. Instead of living the normal 120-90 days, my blood lives 60-30 days then begins to break down.

When the doctor told me this I thought to myself, I have bad blood, that’s what makes me a bad person. This is why my mother can’t love me, I’m bad from the inside out. Yup, my head took me there. So how do I rewrite a very old message of being bad and bring my thoughts more in line with the times? I paint and talk to myself.

After some healthy ground techniques I pulled out my watercolors and began to paint symbols from the doctor’s visit. I painted a symbolic DNA strand and several levels of blood development.

I really enjoy painting like this. I take something medical and paint how it affected me emotionally. I’m going to keep doing this. Painting is healing for me and it allows me to process realities easier.

I apologize for the quality of the photo. All of this is still being painted, photographed and blogged from bed.

Jordan

“The Lesson” by
Faith Magdalene Austin
Watercolor and ink
8.5 x 5.5
98lb paper

By Virtue of Him

Posted on by F.Magdalene

Let her keep looking toward the light that shines before her. She will be imparted power by virtue of Him.

By Virtue of Him

Art Title: “By Virtue of Him”
Art by: Faith Magdalene Austin
Size: 6.5 x 4.5
Media: Acrylic on cardstock

The small painting shows a young woman with her back to the dark and her body affected by it. She is still dressed in white, still looking upward for direction and hope. A light of white shines on her. Her hands come right through the color and darkness, leaving them open to hope.

In the partial finger painting you’ll see layers of color and rich texture. Cranberry, midnight blue, vivid green, royal purple, gold and black make up the painting called “By Virtue of Him.” The art is based on the Scripture at Philippians 4:13. It is my first overtly religious titled and purposed art on Sundrip.

Thanks for visiting me today,

Faith

Dec 6 , 2017

Cheesy the Chubby Frog and Aquarium Therapy

Posted on by F.Magdalene

A video for friends.

At the end of the video I said these are my ‘frogs’ but only Cheesy the Chubby Frog stars in this short vid.

Continue reading “Cheesy the Chubby Frog and Aquarium Therapy”

The Silent Loud One

Posted on by F.Magdalene

Ariel Knew it Would Rain - SOLD
Ariel Knew it Would Rain – SOLD

I did not expect this painting to ever be chosen, to be taken home. I couldn’t believe when I got the email telling me of the sale for “Ariel Knew it Would Rain.”

She’s art that’s difficult to look at because, though she is silent, her face tells you everything. What use does one have for a few words when they are the picture worth a thousand? I’m amazed and touched that she was purchased, and humbled too.

Sometimes I am so raw with my art. It is clear I’m not a happy camper. It’s clear the painting came from pain. When I do that I worry about saying exactly what the painting was about but recently I’ve taken more risks and just saying, hey, this is what I was thinking, this is what I felt before, during and after. It’s a risk I’ll continue to take because with art my voice is most authentic.

Faith