I have something to tell you about my dog Van Gogh. I sent him back bc of his behavior. It’s been bad since we moved here. He’s been fighting with ALL the dogs here, and winning, but still starting fights.
He jumped the mailman unprovoked one time.
Scared a little girl
He growled at my caregiver twice, snapped at her and seriously tried to bite her, all in the same day.
Tuesday he ferociously barked at a dog he previously whipped. The owner quickly moved away but that wasn’t good enough for Van Gogh. He began to wrestle hard with me to break free out of his harness. Then a cat popped out of the bushes to run away from the barking and commotion. Once Van Gogh saw the cat he struggled more and was free.
Van Gogh was angry and out of my control. I didn’t know him any more. I haven’t known him for a week. He’s not acting like the dog I adopted. The honeymoon was over!
The behaviors, specifically the aggression is frightening. When he jumped at the mailman there was zero warning at all, none! He looked at him, growled and jumped. Had he not been on a leash the mailman would have been bitten.
When Van Gogh ran away I immediately called the rescue center I got him from and told them to come get him. I knew he was coming back home because early on when we first moved here I began to teach him how to get home by smell, just in case we ever got separated.
After he fought me I put on lavender perfume and went downstairs. There he was! Wild eyed. Not sure if he wanted back on the leash, but he came anyway.
In the past week he’s peed on me, my wheelchairs, the bed. I just can’t do it anymore! He hasn’t been the same since I move here.
Before this happened I stayed in prayer for a week trying to figure out what to do about him. Then Tuesday he went and fought me to get out of and out of his harness! That was the last straw. So, Van Gogh is gone as of Wednesday morning.
I am relieved. I am saddened that it didn’t work out but I’m relieved that it’s over.
Remember the brown Dr Martens I was super in love with? I purchased them after someone gave a surprise donation via PayPal?
Well, I had to go back for the black ones 🙂
These shoes are very amputee friendly. I can dress myself which is huge. I feel so normal and like myself in them. There’s nothing about them that’s been altered to fit that ever changing stump. I now have two really cool shoes that expand just right.
I even got the black shoes nearly half off.
Dr. Martens for the win, again. I swear I want to write him a letter and tell him how his shoes make me feel normal. I wont cause that’s weird, but I’m really happy this style hit the market.
I’m also grateful for fun compression socks 🙂 Fun compression socks and these shoes? I don’t know what to do with myself!
I found a jar of honey in an old supplies from the pandemic era. It had crystallized.
I didn’t want to go through the trouble of doing the double boiler thing to melt it down and shake it up but I do want it decrystallized. I can’t do the dishwasher method either. That’s where you place the honey in the dishwasher for three cycles and viola, no more crystals. However, I do have a coffee mug warmer, and time.
How it unfolded
I kept the lid on the whole time.
I saw signs of movement within three minutes.
I turned it over several times so it wouldn’t get too hot on a given side.
Give it a good shake from time to time.
The full process took about 30 minutes for six ounces of crystallized honey. The honey tastes just like I remember. 🙂 I know exactly why I buy from this particular beekeeper.
There are two beekeeping families with superior products who keep me coming back.
My wonderful full-time caregiver enjoyed the cinnamon and honey I made for her. Now for lavender and honey, lemon and honey, etc. I purchased a quart and the taste sizes are only one ounce so there’s enough to play with. 🙂
Well, I’m off to do end of the month tasks. Try not to worry they say. It’ll all work out they say. I’ve got evening care added on two days a week now, due to memory issues and others from long covid. They’re making sure I eat, too.
It’s a difficult time right now. Stress is high enough that my body is killing me. Stress is high enough that I’ve trusted too much due to mental exhaustion.
I went running from the building bc I thought it was going to blow up. I thought God sent me a message telling me to get up and leave everything behind and flee. So I did. Only trouble was, it was late, late like 3 or 4 am.
I was rolling down the dark street away from the building bc I thought it was going to blow up but then in my head this line of reasoning came over me: If you trust Jehovah then you know he wouldn’t put you in danger. Go home. It was then I saw the guy bounce from the bushes towards me. I took off in my wheelchair screaming, trying to drive straight. I got to the porch and called “my brother” who is as exhausted and I.
never before have I thought I had a premonition so strong or felt it was from God. It was a strange thing. It’s never happened before.
I have talked until I’m blue in the face. It’s like a huge puzzle and I hate puzzles.
I don’t know what the next step is. I have hope though and that’s what I’ll keep in mind.
I broke both wrists and strained my right shoulder. Yeah. Not good. It’ll be interesting to see how the next 8 weeks play out. That’s how long before the shoulder and wrists start to feel better.
I still need to be able to paint so I’ll be doing pinkie paintings. 🙂 I’ll have to try to cover all cast and wraps. Thank goodness for press and seal.
I’m definitely not ok with this situation but I’m relieved I can accommodate my need to create.
Also, I’m still working on getting an electric wheelchair bc rolling myself around isn’t working right now.
It’s been a year since I finished a painting or started on a new doll but I feel like I’m at a place in my physical and emotional health to get to sewing again.
I look tired and I’ve got dark circles under my eyes but today was still a good day. This is the feeling that I lost with CNAs. Peace. I feel a measure of peace in my home again. I’m not emotionally healthy but I’ve still regained the peaceful, welcoming feeling in my home.
It’s been a good day
I believe one of the major blocks I had that kept me from creating much was the way I began to view the apartment. It started to feel more felt like a hospital than my home. Instead of feeling able and capable, I ended up in patient mode like in the hospital when I had no control over anything.
Another issue that I’m correcting is my lack of privacy. This efficiency apartment displays everything I own. I don’t like that so I made some changes to my furniture to gain more privacy. I honestly think when I’m better able to feel less on display and gain more peace at home that I’ll have taken a big step towards trusting my environment. When I feel I can trust again that is when some sort of painting will take place. Who knows what style of painting I’ll have. One should not have any expectations as to style.
Several times this week I came close to grabbing my sketch book but I couldn’t do it. The wall separating me from painting is weaker but still stands. Well, between surviving 2018 followed by Trumpism, Coronavirus, the recession, war and monkeypox, my ability to trust the moment got shattered. I’m happy to say it feels like I’m close to rebuilding an atmosphere conducive to creativity which includes sewing and painting. I’ve been working hard on building blocks so art can feel safe enough to happen.
I plan to be full swing into sewing even before the next ten days of bedrest ends. This will total 30 days on bed rest which has been torture.
In-home care is going very well. I feel secure with it. I know I’ll be able to have reliable help when I make messes. I also have two people to assist with getting items mailed out on time. I feel like I’ve done a lot of preparation….. and procrastination. lol
I’ve even narrowed down which days of the week I’m going to concentrate on sewing and days I’ll use for writing letters to elderly people. Basically I’m making sure I have what I need to succeed.
I refuse to make dolls in bed. I won’t lie, I’m up all the time. I’m going to steal an hour or so a few days a week and just return to bed after I’m done.
I’ve got back issues and a muscle spasm that stretches from the middle of my back all the way around to my navel. It feels like a belt. It’s stressing the bowel and bladder.
I’m on some strong meds and muscle relaxers 3x a day which means I’ll be sewing by hand at first. I don’t want a OUI – operating machinery under the influence of meds. lol Really though, I could get hurt so I’ll sew by hand until it’s safe enough to get on the machine.
You know what? My memory foam mattress remembers too much 🙂 Bed rest and memory foam are not friends. I’ve put an outline of my body in my memory foam mattress because of staying in it so long. lol…. I had to have my friend I call Mary Poppins aka Mary to turn my mattress around so I can put a body outline in the other side. lol Thank goodness it’s just a twin bed. It’s not terribly heavy to turn to the other side.
Anyway… as far as the type of dolls I’ll create, I’ve already got an idea in mind that I’d like to develop. The dolls will be sad dolls and some others will have body irregularities. One should not expect happy, wide eyed little girls, cause I don’t do those. I could only paint what was in my heart, it’s the same with sewing. I can’t relate to a grinning, happy, bubbly doll, but I can relate to and create dolls like Shiloh. She is a little soulful girl, full of emotion in her big brown eyes.
Shiloh by Sundrip
I’m nervous about sewing “sad dolls” because I’m not certain how they’ll go over in my Etsy shop. I made 3 a year ago or so. I sold one and kept two for myself.
While going through and sorting doll clothes I found a doll I thought I’d sold. This is Sweet Pea hanging out in a tree.
Sweet Pea by Sundrip
I don’t know what I originally named her but she has a new name since she’s staying with me.
Sweet Pea by Sundrip
She makes me smile with her rosy cheeks and her little shoes. I just adore her. She and Shiloh are part of my private collection.
I will have another doll update soon. Hopefully I can report that I’ve got everything cut out and that I’m started on sewing.
My Etsy shop is still closed for the time being, but you can visit the galleries here on Sundrip and you can purchase prints from my Redbubble shop.
I know how it feels to be so broken that it felt as if I’d die where I lay. But it’s true, if you hang on for one more day the urge to act in a permanent way will not be as strong.
When I couldn’t pick myself up, even after the wait, I reached out and my friends reached back. I’m grateful for that.
Purchase via Etsy or PayPal. All contact information is on the sidebar. And, ya know I barter so check out my Amazon wish list on the sidebar to see the items I’ll barter art for.
Announcing 40% off items in my Etsy shop. Items are already marked down.
Purchase your art on Etsy or through PayPal. Contact me with any questions. SundripJournals@gmail.com
What will you see in the sale? Check these out.
All art in the gallery below is available and looking for a wall of it’s own.
