I felt ugly talking to Dr. D today. We talked about binge eating and how my diet isn’t the best. I have a terrible sweet tooth but I also eat to sooth myself. I hope it counts for something that I didn’t binge the other day. I’m not a fat slob failure but I certainly […]
Month: October 2018
(sigh) I saw The Surgeon for the last time yesterday afternoon. I didn’t expect him to hug me but I’m glad he did. I gave him his painting and as expected, I cried at the end. As a matter of fact I got in the car, went to the store, purchased 4 pints of ice […]
About a year ago I took a vow of simplicity. I started before the health scare took place and am picking up where I left off. What is it? What’s the point? A vow of simplicity is one where you vow to live (for a time) a more simple existence which includes freeing up time […]
My physical wounds have healed faster than emotional wounds. There’s a real fear that time will pass, I’ll ‘look better’, and people will forget that on the inside I’m still struggling. When all this first happened and for the entire 5 months, friends leaped to my assistance. I had more visitors than I knew what […]
Monday was one of the hardest days I’ve had in a while. It started off with nightmares that stayed with me for much of the day. I tried to go back to bed to start over but had yet another nightmare. Then as planned, I got myself together, got on my horse (wheelchair) and left […]
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Baby Pictures
Awwww, baby froggies. It’s going to be fun watching these little guys grow up. There are actually 4 babies now. I adopted a little guy who was on his own and not being cared for. These are Australian Tree frogs with a life expectancy of about 15 years. They’ll get between 4.5 and 5.5 inches. […]
Two teddy bears made of soft pink corduroy went to a new born this week. 🙂 Chosen from the Available Art Gallery, “Southern Slaw” is on it’s way to Colorado. “Folly” aka “Smirk” went to Indiana. Here’s a quick look at some of the art that is still looking for a wall of it’s own. […]
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Dreams: Burying Fantasies
Content: Aunt tried to kill herself. Brief discussion of cocaine. Death. The gist is that my aunt refused to call me by my name, called me everything else. I refused to answer. Then she called me a ‘bitch’ so I gave her a full account of how much I hate her. I reminded her that […]
Yup! Today I became momma to 3 baby Australian Tree Frogs. I couldn’t be happier! I saved money then walked in the store and purchased the tank, stand, frogs and supplies. I walked out a happy camper. I keep looking at the terrarium, just staring at it. Soon I’ll have good photos but for now […]
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Anxiety and Fight or Flight
I understand that my biological response to many things is still as if my body is fighting like when I was abused or when I was having medical trauma from a young age. My adrenal system fights so hard, as if it has to, still. All that adrenaline causes anxiety because I’m still trying to […]