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Anxiety PTSD The People Behind My Eyes

Therapy Review: Ugly. Self Harm. Weight

I felt ugly talking to Dr. D today. We talked about binge eating and how my diet isn’t the best. I have a terrible sweet tooth but I also eat to sooth myself. I hope it counts for something that I didn’t binge the other day. I’m not a fat slob failure but I certainly […]

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Anxiety The People Behind My Eyes

Surgeon. CNA. Spoiled Me.

(sigh) I saw The Surgeon for the last time yesterday afternoon. I didn’t expect him to hug me but I’m glad he did. I gave him his painting and as expected, I cried at the end. As a matter of fact I got in the car, went to the store, purchased 4 pints of ice […]

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I'm only human Self Portrait The People Behind My Eyes

A Vow of Simplicity

About a year ago I took a vow of simplicity. I started before the health scare took place and am picking up where I left off. What is it? What’s the point? A vow of simplicity is one where you vow to live (for a time) a more simple existence which includes freeing up time […]

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Anxiety ART GALLERY Digital Art Lupus Major Depression PTSD Self Portrait Sketchbook diary The People Behind My Eyes

Don’t Forget Me

My physical wounds have healed faster than emotional wounds. There’s a real fear that time will pass, I’ll ‘look better’, and people will forget that on the inside I’m still struggling. When all this first happened and for the entire 5 months, friends leaped to my assistance. I had more visitors than I knew what […]

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Art ART GALLERY Digital Art Faces Lupus Originals Paintings Self Portrait Sunflowers Surreal The People Behind My Eyes

Surviving to Eke out Gratitude

Monday was one of the hardest days I’ve had in a while. It started off with nightmares that stayed with me for much of the day. I tried to go back to bed to start over but had yet another nightmare. Then as planned, I got myself together, got on my horse (wheelchair) and left […]

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Art

Baby Pictures

Awwww, baby froggies. It’s going to be fun watching these little guys grow up. There are actually 4 babies now. I adopted a little guy who was on his own and not being cared for. These are Australian Tree frogs with a life expectancy of about 15 years. They’ll get between 4.5 and 5.5 inches. […]

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Abstract Art Art ART GALLERY Expressionsim Mixed Media Originals Paintings Paper Surreal

Art that found a new home this week

Two teddy bears made of soft pink corduroy went to a new born this week. 🙂 Chosen from the Available Art Gallery, “Southern Slaw” is on it’s way to Colorado. “Folly” aka “Smirk” went to Indiana. Here’s a quick look at some of the art that is still looking for a wall of it’s own. […]

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Dreams PTSD Siblings abused

Dreams: Burying Fantasies

Content: Aunt tried to kill herself. Brief discussion of cocaine. Death. The gist is that my aunt refused to call me by my name, called me everything else. I refused to answer. Then she called me a ‘bitch’ so I gave her a full account of how much I hate her. I reminded her that […]

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Life is like a box of The People Behind My Eyes

Something to love – FROGS!!

Yup! Today I became momma to 3 baby Australian Tree Frogs. I couldn’t be happier! I saved money then walked in the store and purchased the tank, stand, frogs and supplies. I walked out a happy camper. I keep looking at the terrarium, just staring at it. Soon I’ll have good photos but for now […]

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Abuse Anxiety Art Artists Thoughts PTSD

Anxiety and Fight or Flight

I understand that my biological response to many things is still as if my body is fighting like when I was abused or when I was having medical trauma from a young age. My adrenal system fights so hard, as if it has to, still. All that adrenaline causes anxiety because I’m still trying to […]